Is there a solution to this problem?

[mem]

Ok, I've spent months thinking this one over to only end up confused.

Ok so I've had this huge crush on this girl for over 10 years and she to me. We've never talked as we are both as shy as each other. Now 3 years ago I left town and lost all contact with her, then 3 years later I regain contact after coming back, only to find that she is single but now has a 2 year old daughter. Now here's the problem, I can't afford to have/raise kids and further more, I don't want kids. We still have strong feelings for each other but can't think of a solution to this problem. Can any of you?

So after months of thought and failed to find a way around this problem, I thought I'd try the think tank (atheist forums).

Just a query, Does the woman know how you feel? Have you talked to her about your feelings about kids? If you have then she should decide if she wants to be with you despite your reluctance to be part of the childs life. If you havent told her, I think you should. I would think, speaking as a parent myself that she might have concerns about bringing you into the situation. You cant be with her and not interact with the child , I think that would be unfair on the child. My advice would be to be really honest with the lady and see what she thinks. She may not want a man to support her and the kid-I did it alone and it was fine. I had relationships but never involved my son. It's very hard to be a step-parent. I started a relationship with my partner when my son was 14 years old (he is now 28). I made it clear to my partner that my son was not looking for a replacement dad and that I was bringing him up. I never expected my partner to help me in any way. It has not been easy but I dont regret it-we are still together! So it can work and of course we should always try to live by the maxim "sieze the day". I hope this helps, I waffled on a bit, let us know how it goes xx