(September 5, 2014 at 6:48 am)Exian Wrote: I want to hear about the first time you doubted your religion? Your first ah-ha! moment, if you will.
My first "ah-ha!" moment wasn't so much of a moment of doubt, but more of realizing the arbitrary nature of religion. I understood that the biggest determining factor in a person's religion was where they were born. I also believed that you had to accept Jesus as your lord and savior to go to heaven (and not hell). I also understood that not everyone would have an equally easy time converting to Christianity, given various social and legal situations. That being said, I felt lucky to be born in a country that worshiped the "correct" god. It's kinda creepy looking back on it.
I would later realize that I wasn't "feeling" God as much for a while. I'm not sure how much those were "doubts", though. It troubled me, but I still felt like I largely believed, and just needed to be more active.
I didn't really truly doubt until my late 20s, which was about five years after the above two events. At some point, I realized I no longer believed in God, and felt like I had to convince myself to do so, again. I really wanted to believe in God, but I couldn't force myself to do it. The more I thought about it and the more I read my Bible, the less I believed. Even then, it took me about two years to let go of it and to feel comfortable in my disbelief.
So, for me, it wasn't just one thing. I just kinda... stopped believing.
