R -E - S - P - E - C - T: Who gets it and who decides?

[Jenny A]

I've been noticing myself becoming less and less respectful toward theists as I spend more and more time here at AF.org. At first I thought that might be about me. But now I think it is about the theists. Tolerance and manners is a question of personal policy and conditioning/upbringing. But doling out respect is not.

Welcome to the club. I think for me the difference here is twofold. First, I don't usually plumb the depths of why theist believe what they believe, so I just ignore the whole belief issue most of the time. This is one of those cases where knowing more doesn't necessarily lead to better understanding. Second, respect is generally, as you say good manners. And I feel that theists here deserve good manners to the same extent that evangelists at the doorstep do, which is to say not nearly so much as the same person met under other circumstances.

Respect isn't entirely rational. I don't consciously set the parameters of what I find praiseworthy. Rather, I notice what wins my respect, what doesn't and what elicits the opposite reaction.

What I've noticed about me, is that it isn't god belief per se which loses my respect but rather the way in which that belief is held. I'm not arguing for what is in fact most respectable, only sharing what I find to be so.

I would agree. Theists who understand that faith is not rational and is a choice to believe without evidence elicit more respect in me than theists who insist that their belief is rational. I find I have little patience for those who think the Bible is factually inerrant.

I also have empathy for the struggle of other theists here.

Again, I agree is only because I know what it is to hold a minority position. But, I find more and more my empathy is tempered by the knowledge that the theist here choose to be here in a way that I don't choose to be bombarded with religiosity.

However, I do tend to wince at the way some of us respond to theists.