Lee was never a Southern patriot. He was not a proponent of session. He wanted the Union to stay intact. When the South seceded he went with it because Virginia went with it. He was a Virginian first and foremost. I don't think he ever had a jingoistic patriotism for the South. In the end, I think it was the army itself he loved, and it died with the war. Lee, himself wanted forgiveness from the North. He didn't get it. Maybe he would have, had he lived longer after the war.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.