Pets with Tourrets

[jesus_wept]

My friend used to have a budgie which he'd taught to swear like a trooper and tell people to skin up. I didn't even know budgies could talk until I went round his house one day, I hadn't known him long at the time, and I was stood there alone when a little voice told me to f' off and called me a wanker. For a minute I thought it was the voice of god or I was going mad (is there really much of a difference?), until I realised where the voice was coming from and it told me to skin up.