New here and pretty depressed (Kinda long)

[watchamadoodle]

Hi, KrystalVisions.

I'm not bipolar, but I had a psychotic break, so I can relate to that. I went from atheist to extreme religiosity. It's embarrassing. Also it took me a long time to fully accept that I had been psychotic. I had some of the most amazing hallucinations. It was just like being in a movie with lots of special effects. I can understand that the real world seems boring and depressing by comparison.

There is a good forum for bipolar people:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/bipolar/

Here is a quote that might cheer you up:

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The implications of classical theism, if it is accepted in all of its details, are clear enough: If God exists then we were created for a purpose; we are valued, loved. If God exists then we also have an incentive, not to mention a moral duty, to fulfil this purpose; our eternal fate hangs on whether we follow God, as we were created to, or rebel against his authority. Classical theism is therefore often felt to restrict our freedom, but to do so not because we are unimportant but rather because we are important and so have a duty of care to ourselves and to others. Theism thus affirms our value even as it constrains our freedom.

Atheism, plausibly, exerts pressure in the opposite direction: it affirms our freedom but, it is often thought, threatens to compromise our value. In general, those who have lacked belief in a next life have thought that this makes our choices in this life all the more important. Sartre, for instance, thought that the absence of a divine Creator who defines who we are gives us absolute freedom to define ourselves. Because there is no God, there is no God-given human nature, and so each of us is, in a sense, his own Creator. We are free to be who we want to be.

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http://www.philosophyofreligion.info/