RE: Pissed
March 22, 2015 at 9:34 am
(This post was last modified: March 22, 2015 at 9:41 am by Nope.)
I have four children. Three are pretty easy going kids Not my oldest daughter. She started to do everything early. At fifteen months, she could argue back because she spoke very well. She is smart with a sarcastic sense of humor and a 'queen bee' personality.
Here is an example of my daughter's very strong will. When my husband's mother became ill, we left our 18 year old son in charge of his 15 and 12 year old sisters. My brother would drop by to make certain that they were safe and got to school okay. According to my brother and my other two children, my oldest daughter took over and made certain that not only was the house very clean but that everyone ate healthy. My brother expressed amazement that my other kids followed what my oldest daughter told them to do. She is a great young lady of whom I am extraordinarily proud but the combination of her intelligence, sharp wit and overall strong personality made her younger adolescence very annoying.
What I found worked was allowing any of my kids to disagree or express their anger. As an abused child myself, I was not allowed to express any disagreement with my mom. Kids are allowed to be pissed at their parents. My only rule is that my children are polite in their disagreement. When my daughter's tone was unpleasant, I made her repeat what she said until her tone was less abrasive. This will drive your teen up the wall and sometimes make them laugh. The key is to remain calm. Imagine, your daughter yells she hates you as you calmly drink your coffee while telling her to say the exact same sentence again in a nicer tone. You make her repeat this again and again until her tone is sufficiently polite. Usually, my daughter would end up laughing and we would be able to have a calm discussion about what was bugging her. Sometimes she remained angry but damn it, she learned to express anger in a more calm manner which will help her when she leaves home.
My oldest daughter recently expressed shock over younger girls being disrespectful to their parents and said she would never talk to me like that. LOL
Most people will have a moment with their child that they regret. If your child is pushing you buttons send them to their room until you calm down or walk away. Whenever I have yelled, the situation only got worse and I felt horrible.
Here is an example of my daughter's very strong will. When my husband's mother became ill, we left our 18 year old son in charge of his 15 and 12 year old sisters. My brother would drop by to make certain that they were safe and got to school okay. According to my brother and my other two children, my oldest daughter took over and made certain that not only was the house very clean but that everyone ate healthy. My brother expressed amazement that my other kids followed what my oldest daughter told them to do. She is a great young lady of whom I am extraordinarily proud but the combination of her intelligence, sharp wit and overall strong personality made her younger adolescence very annoying.
What I found worked was allowing any of my kids to disagree or express their anger. As an abused child myself, I was not allowed to express any disagreement with my mom. Kids are allowed to be pissed at their parents. My only rule is that my children are polite in their disagreement. When my daughter's tone was unpleasant, I made her repeat what she said until her tone was less abrasive. This will drive your teen up the wall and sometimes make them laugh. The key is to remain calm. Imagine, your daughter yells she hates you as you calmly drink your coffee while telling her to say the exact same sentence again in a nicer tone. You make her repeat this again and again until her tone is sufficiently polite. Usually, my daughter would end up laughing and we would be able to have a calm discussion about what was bugging her. Sometimes she remained angry but damn it, she learned to express anger in a more calm manner which will help her when she leaves home.
My oldest daughter recently expressed shock over younger girls being disrespectful to their parents and said she would never talk to me like that. LOL
Most people will have a moment with their child that they regret. If your child is pushing you buttons send them to their room until you calm down or walk away. Whenever I have yelled, the situation only got worse and I felt horrible.
