Welcome! I've been through the same shit.
My road to reality started one night, while deeply depressed, I was lying on the living room floor trying to sleep. I got up, grabbed a notebook and wrote "What I Know for Sure" at the top. Then I wrote nothing else for about half an hour as I tried to grab something I knew for absolutely certain.
First line, was "I think, therefore I am." Which was my only entry for a month - but was enlightening. Thinking is the only way to know anything real. I began to read the books I'd been forbidden from reading. Books on philosophy, physics, biology, geology... everything. I began to write other things that I knew for certain.
It was a great practice which yielded a tremendously balancing result, and began my long road back from the uncertainty and terror of religious indoctrination. Now whenever I have shit-thoughts I gauge them against my notebook of stuff I know for sure, and it allows the real me to fight back against the conditioned me. It may or may not work for you, but it did for me.
My road to reality started one night, while deeply depressed, I was lying on the living room floor trying to sleep. I got up, grabbed a notebook and wrote "What I Know for Sure" at the top. Then I wrote nothing else for about half an hour as I tried to grab something I knew for absolutely certain.
First line, was "I think, therefore I am." Which was my only entry for a month - but was enlightening. Thinking is the only way to know anything real. I began to read the books I'd been forbidden from reading. Books on philosophy, physics, biology, geology... everything. I began to write other things that I knew for certain.
It was a great practice which yielded a tremendously balancing result, and began my long road back from the uncertainty and terror of religious indoctrination. Now whenever I have shit-thoughts I gauge them against my notebook of stuff I know for sure, and it allows the real me to fight back against the conditioned me. It may or may not work for you, but it did for me.
