First of all, don't you fucking DARE end your life because of OCD. You ever feel like you want to, you damn well see a professional about it and get the help you need.
I read that bit and had to act. Your condition is part of you, but it does not define you. Don't ever think that it does, there is more to you than that. You are a human being, you are unique, and you can do incredible things with the unspeakably rare gift that has been given to you - life. PLEASE don't waste that untapped potential by thinking you are rendered null and void by OCD.
I know it's hard, beleive me. I had extremely severe OCD as a child and still very bad as a teenager. I was bullied non-stop both at home by my mother and at school by other kids and even teachers. I was pretty fucked in the head for a long time after that period of my life and I still carry the scars today.
I would have to switch lights on and off dozens of times a day until it 'felt right', I would get stressed and start freaking out if I saw two light switches next to one another that were at different positions. I would spill my pens and pencils on the floor and arrange them by size, colour, even sharpness, sometimes doing it for hours on end. I would brush both side of my teeth every night the exact same number of times, and if I lost count I would start all over again. I would avoid all cracks in the pavement and if I ever stepped on one I would hop the rest of my journey to the next 'safe spot' like a car or building.
So I know what you go through, and I know how horrible it is. I got some treatment for it, and removed most of the stress from my life, and nowadays I'm more or less free of it, though I still have a few rituals and tics. I'm one of the lucky ones, but that doesn't mean it won't ease off for you either, given appropriate treatment and therapy. It CAN be helped and suicide is the absolute LAST thing you should ever consider.
Sorry for ranting a bit, but this is very close to the mark for me. All the best.
I read that bit and had to act. Your condition is part of you, but it does not define you. Don't ever think that it does, there is more to you than that. You are a human being, you are unique, and you can do incredible things with the unspeakably rare gift that has been given to you - life. PLEASE don't waste that untapped potential by thinking you are rendered null and void by OCD.
I know it's hard, beleive me. I had extremely severe OCD as a child and still very bad as a teenager. I was bullied non-stop both at home by my mother and at school by other kids and even teachers. I was pretty fucked in the head for a long time after that period of my life and I still carry the scars today.
I would have to switch lights on and off dozens of times a day until it 'felt right', I would get stressed and start freaking out if I saw two light switches next to one another that were at different positions. I would spill my pens and pencils on the floor and arrange them by size, colour, even sharpness, sometimes doing it for hours on end. I would brush both side of my teeth every night the exact same number of times, and if I lost count I would start all over again. I would avoid all cracks in the pavement and if I ever stepped on one I would hop the rest of my journey to the next 'safe spot' like a car or building.
So I know what you go through, and I know how horrible it is. I got some treatment for it, and removed most of the stress from my life, and nowadays I'm more or less free of it, though I still have a few rituals and tics. I'm one of the lucky ones, but that doesn't mean it won't ease off for you either, given appropriate treatment and therapy. It CAN be helped and suicide is the absolute LAST thing you should ever consider.
Sorry for ranting a bit, but this is very close to the mark for me. All the best.
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