A fear of relapse

[Jenny A]

Hey all, I just recently found out I was an atheist after being brought up in a christian family. I mean, looking back I guess being a christian never really clicked with my totally analytical brain but somehow I still managed to hold onto it, albeit quite loosely as time went on. So 21 years a "christian" I finally come to terms with myself and, probably a little too quickly, come out to my friends and family. Woot!

Problem starts a little bit later when I find myself trying to explain why I am an atheist to my family. I have solid arguments, don't get me wrong, I mean I spent years contemplating all this before I decided. But there must still be a part of me that's having trouble letting go because as I form my logic I hear a little voice in my head saying
"Oh, that's not right! How could you think like that?"
And I tell the voice, "Well here's the logic. It only makes sense that it's like this."
And then I'm going back and forth with myself battling my old indoctrinated christian sentiments with my emotionless logic and in the end I have to remind myself of how I felt as a christian when it never felt quite right so the voice in my head quiets down. But it always comes back and I do it all over again, it's extremely frustrating.
I'm kind of fearful that I'll have a relapse and become the zombie I once was again, never daring to reach out and explore.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any wisdom or tips to help a newborn such as myself?

I haven't experieced what you are experiencing.  I grew up in a very Christian household, but didn't ever believe.  I did however, experience much guilt, for my lack of belief.   Having tried to use the Bible as a way to learn to believe, I highly reccomend it as way to get over belief.  Read it cover to cover critically.  Pay attention to mentions of other gods (who appear quite real); the scientific impossibility of many things, most of which are not described as miracles; the immorality of god and his laws; the folklore nature of much of what is there; what god does to peoples other than the Hebrews.  Notice that the later books of the OT are all about establishing the privilege of priests and nobles.  Then actually read the "prophecies" mentioned in the Gospels in context while you read the Gospels.  Compare the Gospels stories.