Being gay is a fetish.

[John V]

Identical twins manifest difference in height, weight, fingerprints, etc that can be formulated in the womb due to factors such as placental connection.  These are not choices, but are not genetic.

Sure, and if concordance was high but not perfect, I'd accept the argument that people are born gay, but occasionally a factor such as placental connection causes different amounts of hormones or some such to get to each baby. But the concordance is low. In the largest studies, it's single digits. Recall also that the comparison being made is to skin color, for which the concordance is near 100%.

While I agree with the argument that the science is far from settled regarding a "gay gene", this does not correlate to SSA being a choice.  I get the feeling that you are not necessarily arguing that it is a choice, just that it is not buried in genetics.

Some of my opponents propose a false dichotomy: either a person is born gay, or that person necessarily makes a distinct conscious decision to be gay. There's middle ground which they'd like to keep off the table.