A rational explanation for hell?

[chasm]

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I know this isn't exactly on topic but wanted to post this because I found it very funny.

Got this off someone from somewhere. Can't remember who or where but had saved it on my computer.

"I have been invited by my friend to a group on facebook called 'so apparently I'm going to hell' which has a list of reasons ,stated by Mr. Micah Armstrong originally of the Assembly of God Church in Miami, of why you can go to hell they include:
Pot Smoking
Cigarette Smoking
Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Having a Tattoo
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Blond
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual
Judging People (He wasn't though, he was being honest)
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching BET
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Watching TNT
Associating With Hollywood
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll
Believing in Evolution
Being Catholic
Being Jewish
Being Buddhist
Being Methodist
Being Protestant
Being Mormon
Being Muslim
Being Hindu
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman (they're still paying for Eve's sin)
Being In a Sorority or Fraternity
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future."

Feel free to point them out if they match you. Looks like I'm in shit since it's supposedly wrong to have oral sex.

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Alcohol Drinking
Guitar Playing
Showing Cleavage
Showing Bellybuttons
Girls Showing Their Knees
Girls Showing Their Elbows
Girls Wearing Tight Pants
Girls Wearing Miniskirts
Being Fat
Cursing
Kissing on the Mouth before Marriage
Holding Hands before Marriage
Groping Breast before Marriage
Having Premarital Sex
Masturbation
Having Anal Sex
Having Oral Sex
Being Homosexual [Does Bisexual count? If so, I'm in].
Judging People [As much as I try not to, I catch myself every once in a while].
Being Selfish
Playing Sports
Women Working
Watching MTV
Watching VH1
Listening to “Gangsta Rap”, Techno, Christian Bands, and Rock and Roll [Christian Bands???]
Believing in Evolution
Being Agnostic
Being Atheist
Being a Woman
Owning a Pet
Sin, Have Sinned, or Plan on Sinning in the Future.

There you go. That's all me. I'm screwed, too.