Ok so here is what I think I've pieced together. You've been atheist for your own reason. You have kept this quite because of the views of your wife and community. You feel some level of resentment for not being able to have the experience of freedom in your early 20s. Your no longer attracted to your wife. You don't want to hurt her but want to divorce and in the process expose your lack of faith. Did I capture this correctly?
If so your going through what is called the 7 year itch. Your marriage has most likely become routine including sexually. So your thinking of all the things you want to do that she's holding you back from. Throw in you've been hiding a part of yourself from her adding to that trapped feeling. I went through something similar in my marriage. Before you explore divorce though I'd suggest trying to work it out. First come clean on your beliefs. As long as your respectful and don't judge her maintaining her faith hopefully she'll respond well. If not maybe divorce is the right step. Once you have that openness in your relationship try and break the routines. What works for my wife and I is travel. We have a bucket of locations we want to go to. Every January first we randomly draw one out and plan a vacation that year to that location. This is just an example but find new adventures you can share and I think you'll find that lost passion.
If so your going through what is called the 7 year itch. Your marriage has most likely become routine including sexually. So your thinking of all the things you want to do that she's holding you back from. Throw in you've been hiding a part of yourself from her adding to that trapped feeling. I went through something similar in my marriage. Before you explore divorce though I'd suggest trying to work it out. First come clean on your beliefs. As long as your respectful and don't judge her maintaining her faith hopefully she'll respond well. If not maybe divorce is the right step. Once you have that openness in your relationship try and break the routines. What works for my wife and I is travel. We have a bucket of locations we want to go to. Every January first we randomly draw one out and plan a vacation that year to that location. This is just an example but find new adventures you can share and I think you'll find that lost passion.
