Seriously. Jesus H, Benny... are you that insecure that you need to define every person you come into contact with? And is it really so hard to just address people the way they ask to be addressed? I don't really understand what the issue is here. If someone says "please call me Meredith" but you know she was born "Steve", why does it hurt you in any way to call her "Meredith"?
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.