What IS good, and how do we determine it?

[The Grand Nudger]

I do think that 2 people who are in a loving marriage tend to have a more serious commitment to each other than 2 people who are involved in a one night stand, a fling, or even a relationship. If you are or ever  were married, wouldn't you say you generally have/had more commitment to your spouse than to a girlfriend/boyfriend or to the bootie call or to the one time person? Lol. 

What we -think- isn't as important as what we can demonstrate to be true.  

Of course, there are exceptions, but generally speaking, married people tend to be more invested in each other and more committed to each other than people in those other types of relationships. (I'm going to repeat that part again, so it doesn't get repeated to me: there are exceptions. ;-) ) 

So they are..unless they aren't?  I thought you were a wife, not a weasel?  :wink:

So, because of that, I think if you get pregnant while you are married, you are more likely to have a more stable environment for a child than if you get pregnant from a boyfriend, a bootie call, or a one night stand. This will decrease (not completely eliminate, but decrease) the chances of a child growing up without a father. And even if there is a divorce, I think it's generally better for a child to have a divorced father than a father who he never met because he was just a one night stand. 

What you think doesn't accord well with reality in this case.  The stability of the environment depends upon the stability of the relationship, not it's status as a marriage.  If you married a domestic abuser, the relationship would not provide that stability no matter how well invested either party were.  But so what, we're talking marriage, not kids.  

I also think that people are less likely to get taken advantage of when they have sex with their spouse verses with a one night stand or a fling. Since people usually tend to care about their spouse more than they do about their boyfriend/girlfriend or their flavor of the month, you are probably less likely to be taken advantage of in that sort of way. Spouses are generally likely to love and care about each other more so than one-night-standers. 

Then again you would be wrong, but only because you have a poorly defined and general concept of "taking advantage".  How does a one night stand "take advantage", in what way can a one night stand do this that a husband cannot?  

Lastly, obviously , there is the STD thing. You have a much higher chance of contracting an std if you sleep with 15 people who slept with 15 other people verses just waiting until you're married to someone who also waited until he was married. Of course, STD's can still happen because one of both people can cheat, but you are still setting yourself up for a safer bet if you wait verses if you just go around having multiple partners. 

The simple fact remains, if you keep referring to probabilities..that it is your -husband- not a fling, not a one night stand, not a boyfriend... who is most likely to give you an std. The marriage itself, is not - in any way- a factor in this. 

This is why I believe, from a purely objective level, why it seems safer to wait. It's a personal decision my husband and I made, and it's something I will definitely teach my future children. But I don't lose respect for anyone who chooses differently.

I understand...all good and well...so lets get Adam and Steve to wait until they're married then...right? If Adam and Steve are married, then you see no reason (no, non-god based reason, of course) to call their relationship immoral, or inadvisable, right?
(wish my first would have married -me-...lol, btw..but I left for the service and she found someone else while I was earning that ring money. ah well, gave it to someone else)