I always assume that prof is typing the first suggested word in his mobile's autocomplete list. It's the only way I can feel safe enough to close my eyes in my own bedroom at night.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'