Ex penticostal christian... kind of athiest

[Pyrrho]

Thanks for sharing Pyrrho - good to know it's possible to get to that 'god is the tooth fairy' space.

You are welcome.  I am very far from being an unusual case for this.  Many exChristians report being happier as atheists than they were as Christians, and many of us regard God as being the equivalent of other nonexistent things, like the Tooth Fairy.  Santa, though, is the more common comparison that you are likely to hear from people, but it does not matter, as they are all imaginary things.

Right now as much as I logically oppose the idea of heaven and hell there's still a level of fear and doubt.

I had a chat with an old church friend this week - one of the very few who knows about my personal life - He no longer attends church and said he only believed in god still because he's afraid of hell. Was very honest about that and acknowledged how silly that was but isn't armed with enough info to throw off the lifetime of tradition and indoctrination. He might be ok with that space, but I'm not.
 

You might want to look at arguments for the existence of god, as well as the critiques of those arguments.  Here is a resource for this, but you can find the same sorts of arguments in other places:

http://infidels.org/library/modern/theis...ments.html

Note that when you click on one of the arguments, on the page of the argument, you should find links to analyses of the argument.  I hope this is not too much of a spoiler for you, but all of the traditional arguments for the existence of God are drivel, which is pretty universally acknowledged by most philosophers, even the ones who are religious.  (In fact, Kant, who was a Christian, argued against several of the traditional arguments for the existence of God, because he was smart enough to see that they were crap.)  But you should look into the matter for yourself, and think carefully about it all.  That way, you will be able to be convinced, as I am sure that just hearing some random stranger online tell you they are drivel is not very compelling and will not dispel your concerns.

Basically, the more research you do on the subject, while thinking carefully about it all, the more sure you will be, and the more comfortable you will be with your atheism.  Of course, it is always possible that you will be convinced by one of the arguments for the existence of God, but I rather doubt it, as they are all very poor, such that one would be unlikely to believe anything else with an analogous argument.  However, for a believer who is having some doubts, if the believer is not too careful and avoids being exposed to good critiques of the arguments, then the believer might be convinced by them.  You see, it is easier to convince someone of something they already believe, than to convince them of something they don't.  Many times, people are very careless about analyzing arguments that have a conclusion that they want to believe.

So, I recommend thinking and reading on the subject.  And take your time on this; there is no deadline that you have to meet.

And, of course, you can ask people questions at this site.  Many will be willing to try to help you.  Since pretty much anyone can join, naturally, the quality of the answers you will get may be variable.  Just think about whatever you read, and if something does not make sense to you, don't believe it.

As for hell, I am quite certain that such a place does not exist.  The best evidence we have suggests that one's consciousness is a matter of brain activity, and once the activity in the brain completely stops, one is no more.  If that idea bothers you, we can discuss it, but the short thing to say about that is that the year 1800 was not bad for you.  That is what it is like to not exist.  And that is what the year 2200 will be for you.  There are no more problems for people once they are dead.