(April 12, 2021 at 9:40 pm)Goosebump Wrote: I've lived a very uneventful life full of fuck-ups.
I found out yesterday that a guy I know, a popular dance teacher and one of the top-rated dancers in Japan, has advanced pancreatic cancer and won't live to see the autumn. He's 32. He went to a dance competition last week, had some back pain, and the doctor told him there's nothing anyone can do.
I think that if you asked his opinion, he would tell you to hold on a while longer. Life is so goddamned short as it is. And the amount of time we get -- fortunately or unfortunately -- is in no way related to how good we are.
For what it's worth, I think the fact that you are so self-critical is an admirable quality. People are really good at justifying their bad behavior and blaming it all on everyone else. A clear-eyed assessment, even if it's a bad one, means that you're not all bad.
I haven't thought about it in a long time, but I stole something expensive from my school, also. When I graduated from art school in NYC I stole a big easel -- one of those complicated adjustable ones that can hold an 8-foot canvas. I took it into the emergency stairwell, disassembled it, wrapped it to look like paintings, and took it right out the freight elevator. I gave it to a girl I was crazy about. Probably I should feel guilty about that. It was a long time ago. I won't tell you which school in case someone here wants to rat on me.
