@Goosebump
When you get really depressed, it's hard to remember anything good you've ever done. It's like, all you can think of are failures, fuck ups, embarrassments, stuff like that. It sucks. I've been stuck in a place like that, and I couldn't think my way out of it (though I tried and tried and tried to do just that). But when I got to a better place, I was able to see the good things about myself too (along with the bad)... and really, that's a more accurate way to look at things. But you're shut off from that right now.
A lot of people here are suggesting getting professional help. That's a valid solution. I've gotten help that way before. But I've also NOT gotten help that way. So, in the interests of full disclosure, professional help can be a mixed bag. Especially if you don't have money. You can just be funnelled into the mental health system and placed with a "professional" who is simply not equipped to tackle your particular issues. Not that they are unable to help anyone. I'm sure the vast majority of them are capable of helping people. But that doesn't mean they can help you.
It IS worth a try though. Especially if you haven't sought help before. I recommend trying different avenues. If the mental health system places you with someone who isn't helping, ask for a different therapist. It can be really hard to do this, but MAKE yourself do it. Try different offices if you have multiples available.
Since you are at the point where you are considering nitro tanks... I feel like I should mention alcohol and drugs. I'm not joking. They can get you through. Are they perfect solutions? No. They create new problems of their own. But they're okay. They can even rescue you from the pit of despair (don't even think about trying to escape
) for the time being. Especially weed. For me, alcohol does the trick the best, but weed is also very good. And WAY less problematic than alcohol.
Feel free to PM me if you're feeling it. We can talk. I've been there. I'm not some "whatever you do, don't commit suicide" person. To me, suicide is a valid solution. But there are other solutions worth considering too.
When you get really depressed, it's hard to remember anything good you've ever done. It's like, all you can think of are failures, fuck ups, embarrassments, stuff like that. It sucks. I've been stuck in a place like that, and I couldn't think my way out of it (though I tried and tried and tried to do just that). But when I got to a better place, I was able to see the good things about myself too (along with the bad)... and really, that's a more accurate way to look at things. But you're shut off from that right now.
A lot of people here are suggesting getting professional help. That's a valid solution. I've gotten help that way before. But I've also NOT gotten help that way. So, in the interests of full disclosure, professional help can be a mixed bag. Especially if you don't have money. You can just be funnelled into the mental health system and placed with a "professional" who is simply not equipped to tackle your particular issues. Not that they are unable to help anyone. I'm sure the vast majority of them are capable of helping people. But that doesn't mean they can help you.
It IS worth a try though. Especially if you haven't sought help before. I recommend trying different avenues. If the mental health system places you with someone who isn't helping, ask for a different therapist. It can be really hard to do this, but MAKE yourself do it. Try different offices if you have multiples available.
Since you are at the point where you are considering nitro tanks... I feel like I should mention alcohol and drugs. I'm not joking. They can get you through. Are they perfect solutions? No. They create new problems of their own. But they're okay. They can even rescue you from the pit of despair (don't even think about trying to escape
) for the time being. Especially weed. For me, alcohol does the trick the best, but weed is also very good. And WAY less problematic than alcohol.Feel free to PM me if you're feeling it. We can talk. I've been there. I'm not some "whatever you do, don't commit suicide" person. To me, suicide is a valid solution. But there are other solutions worth considering too.
