Hell is other people.
I freak out when inanimate objects thwart me. i'm sure they do it on purpose.
A computer running slow makes me want to stick a screwdriver in my heart.
People who eff around at tills. Like the check in at an airport. What's so difficult? I have my passport, my 1 suitcase and my ticket. Thank-you mam', boarding card & I'm outta there, but the people in front of me are there for ages while the check-in goes tap tap tap on the keyboard. What are they DOING? Why is it taking so long?
I swear, never get behind me in a queue because it is guaranteed that my queue will have all the old folk with their vouchers and coupons and money-off tickets and will take a coon's age packing their stuff and them rummage in their bag, AFTER it's all been rung up for their cheque book. A cheque book for god's sake. It's the 21st century and you need your effing plume and inkwell to write out your cheque. Don't forget your gaiters and corset and your horse and cart outside.
Don't get me started.
Too late.
Why do people say stuff like "pacifically" instead of "specifically"? I have a friend who puts in the phrase "to be fair" all over the place when fairness isn't even remotely relevant. "Well I put skimmed milk in your tea, to be fair" To be fair to who?
Who are these people that have a crap in the toilet and don't flush? What, they're proud of what they've done? Want everyone else to see? And why do the gents toilets always smell so rank? If a man is incapable of pissing in a toilet without spraying it all over the seat and the floor then use the urinal ffs.
Personalised number plates? they can fuck off and all. Mercedes Benz and BMW drivers have their own rules of the road, They just make it up as the go along.
Fat, female and showing your midriff? Don't. Just stop it. Stop it. It's horrible. And if your fat and ugly what makes you think that getting your nose pierced is going to make you more attractive? Leave it out and go jogging instead. But of course a nose piercing is less painful than 5 miles round the park. And if you have your tongue pierced ffs stop fiddling with it, it makes you look like a gurning moron. And learn to chew with your mouth shut.
Jesus.
That feels better
I freak out when inanimate objects thwart me. i'm sure they do it on purpose.
A computer running slow makes me want to stick a screwdriver in my heart.
People who eff around at tills. Like the check in at an airport. What's so difficult? I have my passport, my 1 suitcase and my ticket. Thank-you mam', boarding card & I'm outta there, but the people in front of me are there for ages while the check-in goes tap tap tap on the keyboard. What are they DOING? Why is it taking so long?
I swear, never get behind me in a queue because it is guaranteed that my queue will have all the old folk with their vouchers and coupons and money-off tickets and will take a coon's age packing their stuff and them rummage in their bag, AFTER it's all been rung up for their cheque book. A cheque book for god's sake. It's the 21st century and you need your effing plume and inkwell to write out your cheque. Don't forget your gaiters and corset and your horse and cart outside.
Don't get me started.
Too late.
Why do people say stuff like "pacifically" instead of "specifically"? I have a friend who puts in the phrase "to be fair" all over the place when fairness isn't even remotely relevant. "Well I put skimmed milk in your tea, to be fair" To be fair to who?
Who are these people that have a crap in the toilet and don't flush? What, they're proud of what they've done? Want everyone else to see? And why do the gents toilets always smell so rank? If a man is incapable of pissing in a toilet without spraying it all over the seat and the floor then use the urinal ffs.
Personalised number plates? they can fuck off and all. Mercedes Benz and BMW drivers have their own rules of the road, They just make it up as the go along.
Fat, female and showing your midriff? Don't. Just stop it. Stop it. It's horrible. And if your fat and ugly what makes you think that getting your nose pierced is going to make you more attractive? Leave it out and go jogging instead. But of course a nose piercing is less painful than 5 miles round the park. And if you have your tongue pierced ffs stop fiddling with it, it makes you look like a gurning moron. And learn to chew with your mouth shut.
Jesus.
That feels better
'How can you say, "We are wise, for we have the law of the LORD," when actually the lying pen of the scribes has handled it falsely? Jer 8:8
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx
A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Groucho Marx
