How can a Christian reject part of the Bible and still call themselves a Christian?

[Minimalist]

Yeah...but to be honest yhwh...it is pretty fucking boring. You know what it could have used. Some car chases. And maybe some good fuck scenes. None of this immaculate conception shit. Real divine porn.

Wait, what? I always thought you had read The Wholly Babble. Let me bring you up to speed and inform you that The Lord, as usual, is one step ahead of you.

Sex in The Hoary Bible

I mean, did you see the part where Jacob's wives are competing against each other? And then they have Jacob have sex with their maidservants? OK, ignore the fact that Jacob's wives are also his cousins and this is really hot stuff.

Then there's the adultery of David and Bathsheba. Can you get any closer to a soap opera?

Now, it's a bit harder to find in the NT but Jesus did have a mysterious young man in a loin cloth when he was arrested. The young man had to flee the scene naked.

Let me help you out.

Yahweh saw that Leah was hated, and he opened her womb while Rachel remained barren. Leah became pregnant and had a son, and she named him Reuben. She said, 'Yahweh has seen my misery. Now my husband will love me.'

So slowly she raised her robe and dropped to her knees and prepared to worship his staff of life......

Get it now?