Any citizen or resident hominin found guilty of being, accused of being, said to appear, suspected of being, or rumored to be unpatriotic, by any police officer, elected official, military serviceman, notary public, or any person other than Alan Brady, shall be subject to one, three, any, two, or all of the following:
(i) A fine of no less than 20% but no more than 60% of his/her annual net income divided by the number of persons who live at his/her place of residence for at least 75% of the year, but not to exceed the current market price of one goat in fair health and fertility;
(ii) The placing of his/her left hand over his/her spleen during a live performance of the National Anthem of Alanland, followed by 36 hours, unattired, in the local pranger;
(iii) Death by guillotine;
(iv) Death by stoning;*
(v) Driver's license revocation, followed by deportation to the Russian Empire, with no possiblity to re-enter Alanland for a period of no less than 14 years and 22 days or until October 1, 2035, whichever comes first;
(vi) Conscription into the Alanland Patriotism Encouragement Services and Honor Inspiration Team (APESHIT) and compulsory attendence at all bidiurnal meetings for a period of no less than 14 years and 22 days or until October 1, 2035, whichever comes first.
* Rescinded 25 June, 2012
(i) A fine of no less than 20% but no more than 60% of his/her annual net income divided by the number of persons who live at his/her place of residence for at least 75% of the year, but not to exceed the current market price of one goat in fair health and fertility;
(ii) The placing of his/her left hand over his/her spleen during a live performance of the National Anthem of Alanland, followed by 36 hours, unattired, in the local pranger;
(iii) Death by guillotine;
(iv) Death by stoning;*
(v) Driver's license revocation, followed by deportation to the Russian Empire, with no possiblity to re-enter Alanland for a period of no less than 14 years and 22 days or until October 1, 2035, whichever comes first;
(vi) Conscription into the Alanland Patriotism Encouragement Services and Honor Inspiration Team (APESHIT) and compulsory attendence at all bidiurnal meetings for a period of no less than 14 years and 22 days or until October 1, 2035, whichever comes first.
* Rescinded 25 June, 2012
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.