The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)

[Catholic_Lady]

Perhaps it's an 'and' rather than a 'but'?  Are you sure you're not putting words in people's mouths?

It could be an and. I will grant you that. It doesn't seem like it all around, though. Since I'm generally speaking about the people who are talking about provocation in this thread, it really may not apply to Catholic Lady. However, I did see several times, here and in Slack, where LfC said she thought I was picking a fight with Hammy in that thread, even acknowledging that she didn't read the other thread where it stemmed from.

As for the "you should be nice to people who are mentally ill because being an asshole who flies off the handle is totally a symptom," that's CL. Sorry, lady. You know I like and respect you. I just think it's stigmatizing and NAMI agrees with me. You should read up on the stigma-free campaigns.

It's ok, I know you respect me and I think you know I respect you too. None of this is hostility towards you on my end, just discussing my opinion on how I would personally approach someone like Ham. 

I'd say for the bolded, it's more like "You shouldn't poke at people who you know have difficulty controlling their emotions and have a tendency to blow up. If he says something that is out of line, you don't have to be "nice" (you call it nice, I call it careful lol) in your approach to him if you don't want to be. You can simply just choose to not say anything. You already know what's gonna happen if you do, so why do it?"   

If Ham were here, this is what I would say to him:

"At the end of the day, you can only control your own actions. If a person says something that upsets you, think about it this way: You can't control them. So instead of responding by calling them nasty names and telling them to fuck off, just choose to let it go. Prove to them that you can be a level headed person who won't be baited."

As you can see, I'm not telling him to keep blowing up. I'm telling him to refrain himself the same way I'm saying the rest of us should refrain ourselves with him. It's the same message to both parties.