Just a bit of perspective:
My little one is autistic and doesn’t like people. He doesn’t like people touching him or invading his space. He only likes his inner circle of family members. He HATES it when strangers make eye contact or speak directly to him. When people did this before, he’d scream, bite his arm, spit, pull his hair, hit his head against the wall. Since I can’t force the world to adapt to him, I have worked HARD to teach him to control his anxiety. With work and persistence, he learned to ignore people instead of having a meltdown. He will never be a social butterfly. I won’t ever expect him to wave to strangers, smile at them, and say bye like other kids do. I’m perfectly content with him ignoring people even if that makes him look rude and aloof. I find myself explaining ourselves to people that matter, and if after explaining they still try to hug him and kiss him, I don’t blame my son for raising his voice in panic and telling them to stop. I do, however, expect him to not hurt himself like he used to do. He has learned that I understand he has social anxiety and doesn’t like people, and he has also learned that certain behaviors are unacceptable. I let him be himself by letting him keep to himself and ignore people, but I do not allow him to bite himself or hit his head. His brother is allowed to play with him, but he knows better than to approach him when he’s having his alone time. If his brother breaks this code on purpose, I expect my little one to be angry and tell him to leave him alone. His brother must leave him alone. There is no hitting or biting allowed, though. No excuses. No buts.
Self control and accountability are things that everyone should practice to the best of their possibilities. Not doing so is irresponsible. While some things should be acceptable coming from someone with special needs, others can be understood, but not accepted. We all have things in which we can be better and putting that responsibility on others and not on ourselves is not ok. I have expectations from my son because I love him. It’s all because of love.
My little one is autistic and doesn’t like people. He doesn’t like people touching him or invading his space. He only likes his inner circle of family members. He HATES it when strangers make eye contact or speak directly to him. When people did this before, he’d scream, bite his arm, spit, pull his hair, hit his head against the wall. Since I can’t force the world to adapt to him, I have worked HARD to teach him to control his anxiety. With work and persistence, he learned to ignore people instead of having a meltdown. He will never be a social butterfly. I won’t ever expect him to wave to strangers, smile at them, and say bye like other kids do. I’m perfectly content with him ignoring people even if that makes him look rude and aloof. I find myself explaining ourselves to people that matter, and if after explaining they still try to hug him and kiss him, I don’t blame my son for raising his voice in panic and telling them to stop. I do, however, expect him to not hurt himself like he used to do. He has learned that I understand he has social anxiety and doesn’t like people, and he has also learned that certain behaviors are unacceptable. I let him be himself by letting him keep to himself and ignore people, but I do not allow him to bite himself or hit his head. His brother is allowed to play with him, but he knows better than to approach him when he’s having his alone time. If his brother breaks this code on purpose, I expect my little one to be angry and tell him to leave him alone. His brother must leave him alone. There is no hitting or biting allowed, though. No excuses. No buts.
Self control and accountability are things that everyone should practice to the best of their possibilities. Not doing so is irresponsible. While some things should be acceptable coming from someone with special needs, others can be understood, but not accepted. We all have things in which we can be better and putting that responsibility on others and not on ourselves is not ok. I have expectations from my son because I love him. It’s all because of love.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
