RE: The Newly Departed thread: announcements (departures)
June 4, 2018 at 7:04 pm
(This post was last modified: June 4, 2018 at 7:04 pm by Mystic.)
(June 4, 2018 at 6:52 pm)J a c k Wrote: Just a bit of perspective:
My little one is autistic and doesn’t like people. He doesn’t like people touching him or invading his space. He only likes his inner circle of family members. He HATES it when strangers make eye contact or speak directly to him. When people did this before, he’d scream, bite his arm, spit, pull his hair, hit his head against the wall. Since I can’t force the world to adapt to him, I have worked HARD to teach him to control his anxiety. With work and persistence, he learned to ignore people instead of having a meltdown. He will never be a social butterfly. I won’t ever expect him to wave to strangers, smile at them, and say bye like other kids do. I’m perfectly content with him ignoring people even if that makes him look rude and aloof. I find myself explaining ourselves to people that matter, and if after explaining they still try to hug him and kiss him, I don’t blame my son for raising his voice in panic and telling them to stop. I do, however, expect him to not hurt himself like he used to do. He has learned that I understand he has social anxiety and doesn’t like people, and he has also learned that certain behaviors are unacceptable. I let him be himself by letting him keep to himself and ignore people, but I do not allow him to bite himself or hit his head. His brother is allowed to play with him, but he knows better than to approach him when he’s having his alone time. If his brother breaks this code on purpose, I expect my little one to be angry and tell him to leave him alone. His brother must leave him alone. There is no hitting or biting allowed, though. No excuses. No buts.
Self control and accountability are things that everyone should practice to the best of their possibilities. Not doing so is irresponsible. While some things should be acceptable coming from someone with special needs, others can be understood, but not accepted. We all have things in which we can be better and putting that responsibility on others and not on ourselves is not ok. I have expectations from my son because I love him. It’s all because of love.
This is going to seem out of place and probably even insensitive or rude, but I would never say never for anything. You never know. If you tell a person they can't change and all of society seems to agree with that notion, they will never change.
I swear I thought I was an introvert through and through and never thought I would enjoy people's company more then being alone for years.
I would be so silent around people when ever I gathered with them with my brother.
I don't know how to explain this, and I might seem insensitive, but I do believe truly the mind can be molded and remolded, you never know.
Sure as a child, he has these traits, but you never know. Do more research in untold stories of healing regarding all mental illnesses or conditions or states, or whatever you want to call it.
Are we ever destined to be in one state for ever. Are traits static?
Just throwing out there. At a certain point in time, people with my illness were told never to try to work and certainly university would be out of the question.
Let's see what perspectives come about in the future and what can or cannot be changed in a human from a matter of will.