Your perception of theists

[Napoléon]

I believe in free will of actions. But certain things like emotions or beliefs cannot be controlled. If I lost a loved one tomorrow, I would have no control over my feelings of grief. An atheist (at least for the most part, as I have heard) has no control over the fact that he simply just doesn't believe that God is real. He can come to this undeniable conclusion either by merely a gut feeling or by thoroughly informing himself... or other, I'm sure.  

I have respect for anyone who thoroughly informs themselves in regards to any belief.

Right, I agree with you. But saying people have no control seems like a misnomer to me. If they are in control of their actions, and their actions are what leads them to their feelings/emotions/beliefs, then how can you say people have no control? *

Someone from the Westboro baptist church may have no control over the fact they were indoctrinated from birth, but they are in control of their subsequent actions. They can choose whether or not to pursue further knowledge, or just go along with what they've been told. I think this is true for anyone. It doesn't necessarily have any bearing on how easy it is, granted, someone indoctrinated from birth is less likely to scrutinize their beliefs, but it doesn't mean for one second they are not in control.

*Just to expand on the example you gave, you said someone would have no control over their feelings of grief if a loved one died. That much is true, however, you're not in direct control of your loved ones. If you were, you'd presumably change things to ensure they didn't die. These are things outside your control. Deciding whether or not to scrutinize beliefs however, are well within your control.