Can I just say...
It's not about me. I know. I know that. My feelings are irrelevant on this, what matters is you, making you feel better, making you feel safe. It's all that I want, with my irrelevant feelings, but when I heard what you said, when I see you suffering, I can't help but feel angry. Like doing a whole lot of very, very unkind things, that I know won't help you and won't do anything of worth, because the damage is already done, but I can't help it. The idea that anyone would dare to hurt you makes me want to hunt them down and punch and punch until I can no longer feel my fists, then keep punching until they no longer hold the shape of a fist, and even then I wouldn't be done, but I can't and it wouldn't do any good even if I did. So many people I care about have been hurt the way you were, too many, and it just lingers in my mind, builds up like some psychic pressure in my head, so that the inhuman shits that did it become nothing more than totems, faceless devils that just... need... to die. And for you, and for her, and her, and everyone else, all I want to feel is my teeth clenching at their throats as I tear them out. It's no better than they deserve.
But it's not about me. It never could be. And I don't want to feel this way, only because I don't want any part of me to be diverted away from doing everything I can to help you. And I'm sorry.
It's not about me. I know. I know that. My feelings are irrelevant on this, what matters is you, making you feel better, making you feel safe. It's all that I want, with my irrelevant feelings, but when I heard what you said, when I see you suffering, I can't help but feel angry. Like doing a whole lot of very, very unkind things, that I know won't help you and won't do anything of worth, because the damage is already done, but I can't help it. The idea that anyone would dare to hurt you makes me want to hunt them down and punch and punch until I can no longer feel my fists, then keep punching until they no longer hold the shape of a fist, and even then I wouldn't be done, but I can't and it wouldn't do any good even if I did. So many people I care about have been hurt the way you were, too many, and it just lingers in my mind, builds up like some psychic pressure in my head, so that the inhuman shits that did it become nothing more than totems, faceless devils that just... need... to die. And for you, and for her, and her, and everyone else, all I want to feel is my teeth clenching at their throats as I tear them out. It's no better than they deserve.
But it's not about me. It never could be. And I don't want to feel this way, only because I don't want any part of me to be diverted away from doing everything I can to help you. And I'm sorry.
"YOU take the hard look in the mirror. You are everything that is wrong with this world. The only thing important to you, is you." - ronedee
Want to see more of my writing? Check out my (safe for work!) site, Unprotected Sects!
Want to see more of my writing? Check out my (safe for work!) site, Unprotected Sects!