RE: Can I just say, and I'm just being honest...
May 3, 2017 at 1:43 pm
(This post was last modified: May 3, 2017 at 1:44 pm by Longhorn.)
I'm sorry.
For always leaving early.
For making up excuses not to go out.
For not being more open.
For not keeping in touch.
For holding back.
For not being as kind as I wish I could be.
For running away all the time.
For being a bad friend.
I'm just scared. That I'll ruin it and that you secretly hate me. Everybody secretly hates me, they're just too nice to show it. I'm afraid of making a fool of myself. Of being vulnerable.
I hate myself too deeply to let you like me and I'm sorry for all the asshole things I do because of it. I really really want someone to stay but pushing people away is a reflex by this point.
I promise I'll make it up to you when I stop being so hung up on destroying myself.
For always leaving early.
For making up excuses not to go out.
For not being more open.
For not keeping in touch.
For holding back.
For not being as kind as I wish I could be.
For running away all the time.
For being a bad friend.
I'm just scared. That I'll ruin it and that you secretly hate me. Everybody secretly hates me, they're just too nice to show it. I'm afraid of making a fool of myself. Of being vulnerable.
I hate myself too deeply to let you like me and I'm sorry for all the asshole things I do because of it. I really really want someone to stay but pushing people away is a reflex by this point.
I promise I'll make it up to you when I stop being so hung up on destroying myself.