(September 25, 2017 at 4:10 pm)Cyberman Wrote:(September 25, 2017 at 3:54 pm)pocaracas Wrote: What do you mean?... Sam would be alive?
Ok. This is cutting very deep. Sam was experiencing dizzy spells due to the hormone injections she was taking for IVF. On two occasions this brought on her seizures, which we nursed through. We even agreed to see her doctor about it the next day. That last day - Sunday - she had another dizzy spell, which she remarked was a big one. She wanted to go to her mum's house that day, which I was very much against, due to her state of health. So she rang her mum to say she wasn't up to visiting that day. Then I saw the annoyance in her face that she wasn't up to seeing her mum. So I relented and let her go, with my dad driving her there rather than risking public transport. And I never saw her alive again.
I know that if she hadn't gone that day, she would never have been alone when 'it' happened to her. My dad's a trained first aider for fuck's sake. And we could have got the ambulance to her in seconds, if it was to happen at all.
No, I'm the murdering bastard in this scenario. And I have no live with that.
omg, you've been living with guilt all this time? I'm so sorry to hear that. I'll chime in to say that you're not to blame and who is to say for sure what would have happened if you didn't let her go that day?
Kudos to you for being open about what happened to Sam. By telling us your story, you might even be helping someone else who has gone through a similar situation of losing a partner.
-Teresa
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