CIJS -
So, you're going to marry your boyfriend/fiance/whatever the fuck he is sometime in the next year. And instead of sticking to your guns and building the house you want, you're now making contingency plans to move up north with him, which is something you never wanted to do because it was too far from family and friends, and there's nothing to do up there.
Listen, I get it. You're nearing 18 years with this guy, and, dammit, he's going to put a ring on it or else. And your current situation is untenable. But all I see is you doing the heavy lifting to make this relationship work (everything from preparing to move to a place you don't want to live to doing the little things, like calling the church to make wedding plans). What has he ever sacrificed for you? And do you actually think a hurry-up wedding and move will make things better?
I'm just so incredibly disappointed in you, and for you. Rather than realize that this guy has essentially strung you along for the best years of your life, you're going to double down. And I can't say anything because we only started talking again a few years ago, and I don't want you to misconstrue my intentions.
I see you being in a one-way, loveless marriage with this asshole, without the courage to go your own way because you think you're undesirable and fortunate to be with anyone at all. And there's nothing I can say or do that won't simply end our rekindled friendship.
You have so much potential, even now, but you don't see it. When I point it out to you, you don't believe it. You are smart, and kind, and funny, and loyal, and beautiful. You can be whoever you want to be, be with whoever you choose. If only you believed in yourself.
So, you're going to marry your boyfriend/fiance/whatever the fuck he is sometime in the next year. And instead of sticking to your guns and building the house you want, you're now making contingency plans to move up north with him, which is something you never wanted to do because it was too far from family and friends, and there's nothing to do up there.
Listen, I get it. You're nearing 18 years with this guy, and, dammit, he's going to put a ring on it or else. And your current situation is untenable. But all I see is you doing the heavy lifting to make this relationship work (everything from preparing to move to a place you don't want to live to doing the little things, like calling the church to make wedding plans). What has he ever sacrificed for you? And do you actually think a hurry-up wedding and move will make things better?
I'm just so incredibly disappointed in you, and for you. Rather than realize that this guy has essentially strung you along for the best years of your life, you're going to double down. And I can't say anything because we only started talking again a few years ago, and I don't want you to misconstrue my intentions.
I see you being in a one-way, loveless marriage with this asshole, without the courage to go your own way because you think you're undesirable and fortunate to be with anyone at all. And there's nothing I can say or do that won't simply end our rekindled friendship.
You have so much potential, even now, but you don't see it. When I point it out to you, you don't believe it. You are smart, and kind, and funny, and loyal, and beautiful. You can be whoever you want to be, be with whoever you choose. If only you believed in yourself.