Ask an OakTree some things

[OakTree500]

I have four questions for you, master.

1) Why is it so difficult to nail jello to a tree?
well.....it is Jello. Trying to nail jello to anything is pretty hard.

2)  How big are your acorns?
Big enough 

3)  What kind of Oak are you?
A solid one

4) Have you ever attended services at The Church of the Rising Penis?  (All rise or kneel as the spirit commands you.)
I have not, that I know of 

The first question that came to mind: How often do you get wood?

Don't answer that.....

Every mor-, I mean no worries, I'll leave that out 

Brexit - Which camp are you in, leave or remain?

I'm very much in the remain camp.

Are you a funny guy and will I kill you last?

Funny? Subjectively, maybe lol. And I'm probably first to go.

Could you give me wood? ;-)

Take two of these and see me in the morning 

What are your feelings on people who call you old and tie yellow ribbons around you?

I mean it's not the best, but I get covered in lovely yellow ribbons......so there is that.

Was that a reference to you in the Lynyrd Skynyrd song?

It was indeed