Paraprosdokian Sentences

[Diamond]

For those of you who don't know, a paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part.

Some examples:

-Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

-To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

-The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

-Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

And the ever popular:
-I want to go the way my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like the passengers in his car.

Please, feel free to post more!

[Rayaan]

These are some of the entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a two-line rhyme with the most romantic first line and the least romantic second line.

I thought of this right after seeing this thread. So, here they are.

**********************************

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell."
___________

Oh loving beauty you float with grace,
If only you could hide your face.
___________

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
___________

I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.
___________

I want to feel your sweet embrace,
But don’t take that paper bag off of your face.
___________

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I’m good at telling lies!
___________

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That’s why I always wake up screaming.
___________

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way.
___________

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime.
___________

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl’s empty and so is your head.
___________

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life.

[Oldandeasilyconfused]

Oh,it won't fit.(as the actress said to the bishop)

Never eat more--than you can lift (Miss Piggy)

The English have all the attributes of a poker,except its occasional warmth. (Daniel O'Connell)

Christianity? Probably a good idea.Somebody ought to try it. (G B Shaw)

If all the debutantes in this ballroom were laid end to end,I wouldn't be bit surprised. (Dorothy Parker)

Roses are red
Violets are blue
and mine are black.

[The Grand Nudger]

"My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life."


That one gets my vote..lol. Good find Rayaan.