Anxiety

[Shell B]

Okay, well, I'm starting different threads for different mental conditions, so people with those conditions have one thread and the support thread http://atheistforums.org/thread-10302.html to turn to if they need to talk.

Those of you who have anxiety know what it is, so I won't bore you with details. I know a fair bit about it and experience it on a daily basis, so, if you need to talk, you can do it here or feel free to hit up my inbox.

Oh, and I should mention that this is for support and sharing of experiences. Please do not give out medical advice, such as cessation of medication or self medicating. It is absolutely fine to offer up behavioral advice or coping mechanisms, but handing out medical advice to people with mental illnesses can have terrible consequences. Leave that to doctors. Offering up your experience with medicine is fine too.

[Annik]

I always feel unnecessary panic over silly things, or sometimes nothing at all. It's really weird. It's almost like being nervous for a big test all the time. I get nervous about being nervous. @___@ You never know when panic will seize you. My panic attacks are scary. My chest tightens up like I'm wearing a shirt that's too tight for me. My throat closes up sometimes, particularly when I'm trying to explain my emotions to Hovik. Hovik is literally the only person I can talk to while I'm panicking and I have to really work to squeak a word out. It's almost like you can't even control yourself. I can't even use my voice. It's so frustrating.

[Shell B]

It's not uncommon to have anticipatory anxiety or anxiety about anxiety. I get that too. I don't avoid things because things give me anxiety. I avoid things because I worry about having anxiety while doing them.

I have never had chest or breathing problems with my anxiety. It's more nervous system for me.

[Annik]

I often end up weeping and gasping for air. It feels like dying almost.

[Angrboda]

Other than some moderate social anxiety, I don't currently have any serious issues with anxiety. I suffered panic attacks for a decade, but no longer do so.

I'm not sure what I want to say here. First, I'd just point out that according to Wikipedia, is the third most common mental disorder. In spite of the jokes, it is both prevalent, and can be seriously diabling and unpleasant. Even in milder forms, social anxiety and other anxiety disorders can have significant impact on how a person lives, and whether or not they are able to live life to their full potential.

I am not trying to blur or merge the threads here, but it is worth pointing out that in some ways, OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder) is an anxiety disorder. The person with OCD performs the behaviors because not doing so causes anxiety. Yes, the two are very different, but there is overlap, at least in symptoms. I myself from time to time, perhaps under depression, have OCD like experiences, where I'll go to bed and lie awake worrying whether I spelled a word correctly, or gave the wrong reference; yes, rumination is a symptom of depression, but this is different; it's worry about things I know I shouldn't be worried about, and a feeling that, say referring to Tantric Hinduism when I meant something else, will shatter people's image of me as a reasonably intelligent person. Hrm, never noticed that: maybe it's a part of my social anxiety. Anyway, I'd also like to point out the related but different disorder OCPD (). I feel my mother had this, and as such, I may have some as well, most likely learned, rather than inherited. My mother is the classic type of person you see on the news as "the cat lady" — she didn't have cats, but our house was inundated with piles and piles of stuff, and she was always collecting more. One time, I picked out only toys that were obviously broken from the basement and threw them out; I found her at three in the morning hauling them back inside. Both my parents grew up during the great depression, and I'm told that "hoarding behaviors" are quite common among people who lived during the American depression. However, each of us, me and my two sisters, show similar tendencies to collect far too much stuff. My BFF came over to my apartment and offhandedly remarked, "Oh, so you're a collector," referring to cabinets filled to overflowing. Despite my best efforts to the contrary, this apple didn't fall as far from the tree as she'd liked or hoped.

Anyway, I'm rambling, and sorry if I "crossed the streams" but it all seemed to cohere together. I'm feeling lazy, having tossed off a Leviathan towards ChadWooters, so I likely won't post in the OCD thread; if anyone feels anything here is relevant or useful there, feel free to borrow or steal any or all of it.

Oh, two afterthoughts. First, it's deemed proper, though often honored in the breech, to refer to someone as having a particular disorder or illness, as opposed to referring to them being their illness, such as referring to someone as a bipolar or a depressive, rather than saying they have an affective disorder or are experiencing episodes of depression; not asking for any politically correct behavior, I'm just pointing it out for the benefit of those who are not yet conscious of that distinction. (The second is that the color code for blue used above is "0000CD". Indeed, 0CD can make you quite blue...) Oh, I almost forgot. Phobias are also classed as anxiety disorders, though they're often overlooked as such, and people with them are often treated differently from people with other mental disorders. (I mean in bad ways; that a person with a phobia isn't viewed as Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs like some people view other people with mental disorders is probably a good thing; but their problems tend to be marginalized and mocked by people in ways that, say, depression isn't. This also applies to social anxiety disorder and the anxiety disorders generally. There seems to be an extra layer of stigma attached to the anxiety disorders, implying personal weakness and other moral or character failings.)

Thanks for listening. We'll keep a light on for ya. ("That goddamned light! I can't sleep! Can't somebody put out that goddamned light?!")

[Shell B]

Anik, I feel very sick too, just in a different way. I'm glad I've never gasped. I hope that doesn't happen. It would freak me out worse.

Apo, yes, OCD is an anxiety disorder. It is the reason I have anxiety. However, lots of people just have anxiety disorders without the personality/neurological symptoms of OCD, so I thought it deserved a thread of its own.

[Annik]

OCD is under what one of the psych teachers termed the "Anxiety Umbrella". :3

I have social anxiety to some degree, I cannot talk to people face-to-face about my emotions. I do get bouts of depression pretty frequently as well. Anxiety and depression are (sadly) really good friends.

[Shell B]

Yes, anxiety can make one very depressed. My most recent bad bout of anxiety thankfully did not end with depression. However, the last time it was bad, I was clinically depressed. No fun.

[Annik]

My mom has clinical depression... I inherited that and chronic migraine as well as my rockin' hips. Yay mommies! :3

[Gambit]

Ah yes, anxiety. I suffer from manic anxiety; for want of a better term. Basically, I avoid the outside world, and when I see what I consider to be injustices, I get extremely anxious to the point where I go into full blown panic mode. This usually leads to depression and serious insomnia, which is why my online friends will often see me posting over a span of 24 hours, in every time-zone in the world. Social anxiety affects me in different ways; which are often contradictory. Sometimes I get extremely shy and prone to becoming embarrassed, even before anyone says or does anything to make me feel that way. Other times I talk endlessly and maniacally; fleshing out ideas and thoughts, whether my audience want to hear them or not.

I always wake up with the fear, after one of my anxiety episodes. I analyses everything I said and how I came across to the people I was interacting with. I feel like I look like an attention whore who is feeling sorry for himself, which depresses the fuck out of me. I also hate that people who know me are then worrying about me, when I should just stfu and keep shit to myself. I guess you could call it a shame cycle. I think that's about sums up my experience of anxiety.