So, my son believes in spells...

[LastPoet]

Hmmm, 11? Fantasy is about to end as Puberty is about to hit, I wish you luck rhizo

[Rhizomorph13]

I spend some time on youtube showing them videos of wierd science things like things exploding, rockets, galium impregnating an aluminum can, and how to make crystals using anti-moss chemicals. The main reason this fascination with spells bothers me, is that it lines up nicely with the kids lack of motivation to better himself. He is a short cut seeker of the highest degree. I've explained to him about how muscles are built but instead of connecting with that reality, he is going to perseverate on choosing a spell that will do the same thing. I like Annik's advice; let him try a few out and see what happens. If nothing else it will at least help improve his reading.

My wife doesn't want to let him read about spells but I told her that if we block him it will only prevent him from trusting us in the future and he will always have that nagging doubt that spells are great and we just don't want him to figure that out.

Anyway, thanks for the words of encouragement, many of my friends IRL have said the same thing i.e. just an active imagination, nothing to worry about.

[jonb]

just an active imagination, nothing to worry about.

No don't worry about an active imagination encourage it, it's a fabulous thing to have!

[Rhizomorph13]

just an active imagination, nothing to worry about.

No don't worry about an active imagination encourage it, it's a fabulous thing to have!

Well, yes and no. If he is just being imaginative while still doing what he needs to do, then I'm all for it. It is when it interferes with his tasks that I have a problem. You see, I need to prepare him for the real world, and most people don't get to daydream AND make a living.

I was really imaginitive when I was a child too, and I feel that much of my potential was wasted because of fanciful ideas. I certainly don't plan to stomp out his imagination, just aim it in a useful direction.

[Kayenneh]

My wife doesn't want to let him read about spells but I told her that if we block him it will only prevent him from trusting us in the future and he will always have that nagging doubt that spells are great and we just don't want him to figure that out.

And if you forbid him for experimenting with spells, they will become twice as fascinating and kids always find ways to defy their parents. So let him do it, soon enough he'll see that it isn't worth it.

[jonb]

No don't worry about an active imagination encourage it, it's a fabulous thing to have!

Well, yes and no. If he is just being imaginative while still doing what he needs to do, then I'm all for it. It is when it interferes with his tasks that I have a problem. You see, I need to prepare him for the real world, and most people don't get to daydream AND make a living.

I was really imaginitive when I was a child too, and I feel that much of my potential was wasted because of fanciful ideas. I certainly don't plan to stomp out his imagination, just aim it in a useful direction.

That answer gives me the heebygebes (sorry I'm dyslexic and can't find the word on spell check).

Real world, if you mean by that earning money, the only way to earn big money is to enjoy what you are doing, because then you will want to put the work in. Do you know how big the design industry is? For instance there are about three times as many people in advertising in London as there are Black cab drivers. It is hart to get into creative jobs true, but if you have the gumption and the perspiration It can pay dividends, But even If you are not going into a 'creative field' most industries cry out for people with a bit of gumption an ability to see what others have not spotted. That takes imagination, and a lot of the problems encountered at the moment are not a lack of willingness to work hard, it is the inability to see alternative ways of getting the job done.

I'm the third or forth generation of my family to be in art, and I saw my kids had excellent talents that would work for them in the field, but neither wanted to go in that direction. Its far more important that they are happy than that I force them into directions that I might wish for. Your kids will build up their own experiences, they are not about the fight you won or lost in your childhood.
Guide them in a useful direction?
At a studio I worked for 30 years ago there was a junior who sat in the corner and wasted all his time drawing silly pictures what he called muggers. Allen our rep walked in one day and said you'll never guess what I've got.
It was a commission for fifty illustrations of teenagers fighting, but they must look like they had been drawn by a teenager.
In the end that kid bought a house outright with no mortgage, from that commission and the work that ensued from it.
No I've never been that lucky, but you don't hedge in what an individual may have you add to it, work with it encourage its full potential, get his imagination working. We have been evolved to have an imagination it is the most useful tool we have.

[Autumnlicious]

Rhizo, what if you were to make a bunch of your own spells, have him sign off on them, and then "try them!" only to find that they've failed!

Just don't get the car stuck on top of you....

[Welsh cake]

Let your kid dream.

And whenever his "spells" go wrong joke by saying "you dun it nao arry otter" ^_^

[Rhizomorph13]

Nice anecdote. By real world I mean any useful direction. The fact that random person gets lucky with some random thing doesn't impress me. People win the lottery, that doesn't make lottery playing a sound investment strategy. I encourage my son's creativity, but when it prevents him from paying attention to reality I step in because he is a real person not some idealized, imaginary, cross you fingers and hope for success story. He shows a knack for art, story creation, and he has good comedic timing. I plan to help him become the best person he can be. Right now he spends a lot of time feeling inadequete because he struggles with reading, writing, and focusing. He is weaker than his sister, who is two years younger than him. He's on an IEP (Individualized Education Program) and is seriously in danger of being held back again in school, so no, I'm not going to just hippy out and let the pieces fall where they may.

The reality is that when you are a father you have to make the bummer choices and discipline your kid and that can suck, believe me. I would much rather just fuck off and play video games with him, which I do often when we find the time. It has been great seeing my discipline pay off in real world gains that make us both happy. Like when he takes out the garbage and can carry the bag all the way to the bin and toss it in without so much as a grunt. Or when he reads for a half hour without working himself into a crying jag.

It is easy to mischaracterize my position as one of the overbearing, stiflingly ridgid, overcontrolling parent, because maybe you watch too much oxygen network or have seen too many after school specials. That isn't the case. He digs me and we have fun together. I intersected his life when he was 8 and he is happier now and more successful. I made this post just to figure out how to deal with this weird turn of events where he wants to start casting spells and passing them out to his friends.

[jonb]

I made this post just to figure out how to deal with this weird turn of events where he wants to start casting spells and passing them out to his friends.

He now knows there is a willing audience for them, what about when he realises he can sell them? and you find yourself the father of a great entrepreneur?

Also there is no dichotomy between putting the bins out and using your imagination, doing a mundane job is a very good time to switch your imagination on.