Confronting Friends and Family

[thesummerqueen]

A nice blog post by Steve that discusses the answer to this letter:

http://theness.com/neurologicablog/index...nd-family/

So my question is; how far do you go to defend the science behind a theory – such as the theory of evolution- when you know full well that no amount of evidence is ever sufficient to ‘convince’ non-believers to change their outlook?! Sure, we must continue to profess the truth and what is fast becoming scientific fact, but when your relationships with those around you are at stake, where do you draw the line in such arguments?! Afterall, you could end up alienating half the people you know, right??

I’m completely torn between keeping the peace with those around me, and calling them all freaking morons for believing something with no evidential underpinning.

Your thoughts on this would be much appreciated, I’m sure it’s something you’ve considered before and maybe it would make an interesting talking point for the show.

Love what you do, stumbling across you guys on iTunes 3 years ago has completely changed the way I think about science.

Kind regards

Nick

[CapnAwesome]

I actually do quite a bit of arguing with my friends and family when they defend a ridiculous position. If they can't get over the fact that we have varying views in the world, maybe we shouldn't be friends. I just do my best not to call the person stupid, or insult them personally and things work out fine.

[Kirbmarc]

If they can't get over the fact that we have varying views in the world, maybe we shouldn't be friends.

This. Luckily it never happened to me. All of my friends are very understanding people, and even if we don't agree about something we at least agree to disagree.

I never had a fundamentalist friend, to be honest. My Christian friends tend to be quite liberal, and they have no problems with accepting evolution or the separation of church and state.

It's not that surprising, since I live in New Jersey, not exactly in the Bible belt.

[thesummerqueen]

No one's ever threatened to kick you out of the house for having different beliefs, obviously.

[Kirbmarc]

No one's ever threatened to kick you out of the house for having different beliefs, obviously.

My parents are very understanding. I left on my own when I was 20 anyway. I'm sorry if that happened to you.

[thesummerqueen]

It didn't. Jews have an answer for anything, so "it's bullshit" to a claim can easily lead to "well it was metaphorical".

But not all of us are so lucky. Just something to keep in mind. Not everyone has parents or family or friends or an environment where stating your mind is easy.

[5thHorseman]

No one's ever threatened to kick you out of the house for having different beliefs, obviously.

I would wreck you.


















































































































right now.

[thesummerqueen]

Oh 5th. If I make it there this spring, we really must put all this sexual tension to bed.

[Creed of Heresy]

I have ended up dropping nearly a dozen friends over the last four years. Not just for religion, however, but for several reasons.

I dunno. I think I had something here, some introspective post of some kind but... Hm. I dunno. The inspiration kind of abandoned me.

Basically I had one friend who was a wiccan and we were cool for a while but then she just started to let her sheltered-girl personality start to take far too much of a hold of her and I started feeling like I didn't really want to be her friend, and I started openly mocking her. Same with another girl whose selfish 'all about me' shit mixed with her hyperactively-happy outlook on everything and outright refusal to look at anything stark or pessimistic [as she would call it; realistic is what I would call it] led to me just mocking her and not caring about her as a friend.

But this might be because I've become a jaded cynic over the last few years. People in high spirits and good moods DESPITE the bullshit being thrown at them don't annoy me, in fact I gravitate towards them...the ones in high spirits and good moods because there ISN'T any bullshit being thrown at them, however, do.

My point, off as it tends to, is that...people come and go. If you can't reconcile an idea or an opinion or an emotional reaction of some kind to someone else then it doesn't matter if they're family or friend or not. Maybe it's because I have no familial connections beyond my two brothers and we're damn-near exactly alike in opinions and ideas, but I have always looked at the whole "you have to look out for your family" idea as moribund and pointless. What kind of tyranny is that? If your mother or father beat you as a kid and treated you like shit, NO, no you do NOT have to love them just because they brought you into this world, dammit. Loyalty is something that must be earned and maintained, not freely given and thoughtlessly demanded of. I am loyal to my brothers because they are loyal to me; I am loyal to my friends who are loyal to me. I have no feeling of regret nor love nor forgivance to the grandmother who swindled me of my father's death benefits and who ultimately ended up dying as she deserved; of cancer, alone, cold, lonely, uncared-for. Her funeral procession was devoid of any attendees. She died as she lived, and she dug her own grave.

Same with an individual and their family. If you come to accept reality but your family won't...then you need a solution. If the discussion breeds conflict, then avoid the discussion. But if the discussion cannot be avoided, then avoid the family. Better to do that than to actively breed hostility, after all.

Also summer, you can put the sexual tension not only to bed but also to counter, table, floor, couch, recliner, patio, lawn, and/or shower. ESPECIALLY shower. Showers are the best place to put sexual tension.

[thesummerqueen]

I'm only planning on being in London a week, Creed, and the Royal Gardens at Kew are slightly more important.