Bizzare Petitions

[Something completely different]

I wasn`t sure if I should post tthis in politics or humor.
It is referencing to a article in german which hasn`t jet been translated into english.
But I will pick out the importent parts.

Ok, "We The People", is a part of the white house homepage in which average americans can voice their opinions and to which they can send and propose their petitions.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petitions

Since the initiative was started in the end of 2011, almoust 3 million people have signed 45. 000 petitions, but harldy any reach over 25. 000 (number required to get official response) signitures and most of these are rather absurd.

Making psychotherapy a civil right (641 Signatures)
To make tabletennis the official sport of schools (1259)
To instruct NASA to build the Enterprise (5544)

Other petitions:

To build a death star until 2016 at the cost of 850 quadrillion dollars. "It would create jobs and strenghten national security". signatures until now: 34.310.

Since Obamas relection there have been several petitions for the secession of individual states. Most of them from the south, such as Georgia (33.795 Signitures), North Carolina (31.815) Louisiana (38.954), Alabama (31.578) and Texas (125.610). 49.639 signitures were given to chace Obama out of office per impeachment, 67.886 for the recount of the last election because "there definatly was voting fraud."

More than 2000 signuters have been gained in support for a petition to make a reality TV show about Vice president Joe Biden: "Biden has the undoughtable capablility to bring people together,on the negotiation table aswell as in a snack bar." The show should run on C-SPAN and show his daily interactions with politicians and citizens. it would show "the funny side of politics".

1400 signuters have beeen given since thursday for the petition to:
"Investigate Senator Mitch McConnell making $24 million in 6 years on a $193,400 a year government salary."

3705 signiture have been reached to declare songwriter John Darnielle from "the mountain goats" as "national poet".

107.000 signiture were collected for the "imediate deportation of Piers Morgan."



link to article:

http://www.spiegel.de/politik/ausland/we...76924.html

[CapnAwesome]

"develop and issue a stamp or series of stamps that depict, promote, and normalize breastfeeding."
I am totally in favor of boobs on stamps!

"Replace anti-gay Pastor Louie Giglio for the benediction at the inauguration with a pro-LGBT member of the clergy."
Do people really think the government has the power to do this? No violation of church and state there, morons.

"HELP man (aka Benjaman Kyle) with amnesia for many years obtain a social security number for financial aid."
It's kind of funny how many are like this, asking for help with some very specific problem in their personal lives. Just a statement about what people expect from the government I guess.

Here is a crazy one that has over 30,000 signatures.

"outlaw offending prophets of major religions"

In the description: "Such acts offend billions of people, and cause unrest in the world. Furthermore, acts like this contradict the essence of coexistence and peace among humans. Labeling these acts as freedom of speech is similar to labeling murder as freedom of expression!"

It actually compares making fun of Muhammad to murder. As far as I know the only people murdered are those by Islamic thugs in retaliation to cartoons.

[paulpablo]

Im sure you will get WAY more signatures in england to petition keeping piers morgan in america, they really should just make a bunker in alaska for him with no broadcasting equipment

[jonb]

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2012/dec...-morgan-uk

New petition urges US to keep Piers Morgan 'because UK doesn't want him'
Fightback is launched after tens of thousands back demand for TV presenter to be expelled from US
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Amanda Holpuch in New York
The Guardian, Wednesday 26 December 2012 17.52 GMT
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The former newspaper editor took to Twitter to ridicule the deportation petition as an attack on his first amendment rights in a number of posts over the weekend. On Christmas Day he had a simple message. "Merry Christmas! Even to those who want me deported," he tweeted.

But it appears that others of a similar mind believe Morgan should remain in the US. Someone using the name "Janusz J" created the latest petition to keep him on the American side of the Atlantic.

[Rev. Rye]

To build a death star until 2016 at the cost of 850 quadrillion dollars. "It would create jobs and strenghten national security". signatures until now: 34.310.
Seriously? 850 Quadrillion? The world's GDP is only about $70 trillion.

Since Obamas relection there have been several petitions for the secession of individual states. Most of them from the south, such as Georgia (33.795 Signitures), North Carolina (31.815) Louisiana (38.954), Alabama (31.578) and Texas (125.610).
Yeah, because that worked out so well the last time; and, seriously, the more I see the right-wing in my country, the more I'm reminded of the mindset that pervaded the South in 1860; They're deathly afraid that Lincoln would free the slaves even though, at that point, he never said he wanted to do anything of the sort, so they rebel as best they can. And today, Obama has shown no sign of planning on doing anything as radical as the right thinks he would.

3705 signiture have been reached to declare songwriter John Darnielle from "the mountain goats" as "national poet".
Oh, if only. Of course, I'd probably think more about Paul Simon or Bruce Springsteen or Lou Reed or Stephen Sondheim or Jason Robert Brown or Tom Waits or Maynard James Keenan or maybe even Daniel Johnston, but that's just me. Maybe Joanna Newsom, but she's not had enough experience.

[Cyberman]

Back in 2007 I sent one in to direct.gov's e-petitions page. Basically, there used to be a bloke named Brian Haw, who until his death stood opposite Parliament protesting the Government's Iraq policy and latterly the whole invasion and war. Well, I thought it unreasonable to expect him to keep up his protest all by himself, particularly since he was the only person in the country legally allowed to protest within a mile of the building due to misguided and misfired legislation intended to remove him. So I submitted this:

We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to personally cover for Brian Haw as and when required

Mr Haw's presence outside parliament is a vital reminder to those individuals who work inside the building of an illegal war that nobody wanted and serves no-one, save those with vested interests.

Inevitably, however, it must be recognised that Mr Haw is a human being, and as such cannot be expected to remain in situ twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week - he is entitled to time off just like anybody else; e.g. sickness, annual leave, etc.

We the undersigned hereby call on the Prime Minister to take up Mr Haw's duties personally whenever said Mr Haw requires some time away from his post.

Very reasonable, I would have thought. However, the submissions team classified it as "Intended to be humorous, or has no point about government policy" with an option to edit and resubmit it. I thought I was being very serious, as I pointed out in this appended paragraph:

Incidentally, this e-petition has been drafted in all seriousness, although worded in a humorous way. I also intend it to make a very serious point about Government policy, with particular emphasis on the U.S.-led invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq, and recent ominous sabre-rattling in Iran. An action such as this petition is calling for would enable Mr Brown to demonstrate to the country and the rest of the civilised world (and America) just where he and his Government stands on this extremely important issue. Unless he is content for us to be America's poodle, of course.

This time they reiterated the "humorous, no point about Gov. policy" line and also subcategorised it as "Wording that is impossible to understand". Rather poetically, I still find that impossible to understand.

Incidentally, an earlier petition of mine, "We the undersigned petition the Prime Minister to make the buying and giving of clothing as presents illegal" foundered in much the same way.

[Zen Badger]

Further to the petition for building the Death Star, because it did get the required number of signatures the White House was obliged to formally respond.

http://vigapi.tynt.com/api/click?format=...0485593073

This would have to qualify as one of the best denials ever.