I Am God

[Cinjin]

I have decided to go ahead and let you all in on a secret I've been keeping from you.

I am God.
Yes, I am the creator of this planet you call earth and every living thing inhabiting it.


Now of course I know exactly what you're thinking: "This guy is a nut job." Well, actually I can't read minds and I'm not omnipresent so I don't actually know what you're thinking, but I swear, I really am the most powerful being in the universe, usually referred to as 'God.' I know it seems odd that I would just come out and reveal myself like this to a such a small group of humans and only after perusing your site for a year and a half under the pseudonym, Cinjin, but I've always found it to be less hassle. Besides, who are you to decide how I should reveal myself? As Drich recently said, "God is proof of God" and I don't have to conduct myself according to your expectations. Besides, floating through the sky would only cause mass panic and thousands of heart attacks. I'm going to have to count on you people to let others know I was here and assume that Drich's standard of proof is sufficient.

Anyway, I'm here to clear some things up and maybe answer a few questions.
First thing I want to clear up right away: I didn't write the Bible. Hundreds of different people wrote it, even a couple women, and I lost track of who scribbled what. If you can glean something good from it, good for you, but most of it paints me in a piss-poor light and you should probably throw it away as it can be very dangerous.
2. I did reveal myself to another small group of people about 2000 years ago, and yeah, there could've been some fella named Jesus in the group, but I assure you, I didn't impregnate any teenage girl and you can be sure if I WAS going to have a son, I wouldn't name him Jesus.
3. I don't do miracles. In fact, I don't get involved with you people whatsoever. I gave you life. The rest is up to you. Quite frankly, how very unfair would it be for me to save your little girl from drowning and let some other man's daughter get raped? Not very. So hey, get over it. I don't do miracles.
4. I cannot read minds and I can only be one place at a time. Guess what? That means I cannot, and have never heard, your prayers. Once again, get off your butt and do something to improve your situation rather than wasting time on your knees. By the way, you look like an idiot when you pray over your Big Mac and Coke.
5. I have NEVER helped anyone win a football game. Ever. That goes for finding your car keys too.
6. If someone tells you that I revealed myself to them, know that although I have very rarely done that, it has NEVER been in a dream or a vision. Why? Because obviously, someone might think it was "just a dream" and not actually take me seriously. That of course is one of the reasons why I decided to reveal myself today on your website.
7. It doesn't matter what you believe. Atheists, muslims, christians -- you're all the same to me. You are all a product of your parents and your environment. How could I possibly judge you fairly by the particular blanket you were given to comfort you about death? I will say this though: Some of you may not experience a second life. A long time ago I set it up so that some souls would have multiple times around. Some would only have a few, and still others would have only one shot at this life you know. For the most part, it's up to you.
8. I did not create good and evil. You did.
9. If you screw up the planet you live on, I will not repair it for you. Refer to #3.
10. I never drowned the people on this planet, but as I recall, there was a massive flood that covered a portion of the Eastern Hemisphere.
12. The Jews are not my chosen people ... no matter what they tell you. I don't have favorites. For you, it would be like having a favorite ant in an ant farm. I never met Muhammad either. For the record I have never told anyone, anywhere, to write anything I have ever said.

13. If you people stopped worrying about me and what I think about you ... if you stopped pretending that I cared for you more than your neighbor ... if you stopped using my name to kill each other ... if you stopped wasting your time believing in childish stories and superstitions ... you could be greater than you can possibly imagine.


I know most of you probably won't really believe that I am God.
But ask yourself this? If you've never met God, and you've never believed what others wrote about their God than how can you honestly say that He wouldn't reveal himself just for a moment to a group of people simply to set the record straight ... if only for a moment.



By the way, my real name isn't God. It's Cinjin. Go figure.

[Zone]

I am God.
Yes, I am the creator of this planet you call earth

You're the force of gravity?

[Violet]

Didn't I kill you? 0.o

Like... the only way in which God could die, sort of kill you?

The way with no exceptions, loopholes, and no fine print?

Because I could swear: I killed you.

[catfish]

We are all God and it's time we all learned that...
.

[Something completely different]

We are all God and it's time we all learned that...
.

I`m not

[Zone]

We are all God and it's time we all learned that...
.

In Christianity we're meant to be creations of God in a relationship with God as his creatures. Only Jesus is meant to be God. If you don't believe that then you're doing it wrong.

[Violet]

We are all God and it's time we all learned that...
.

I`m not

"Shhh"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVygqjyS4CA

[Jackalope]

tl;dr

I have decided to go ahead and let you all in on a secret I've been keeping from you.

I am God.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissisti...y_disorder

Now of course I know exactly what you're thinking: "This guy is a nut job."

Exactly.

[thesummerqueen]

tl;dr

I'll dance naked in the woods burning candles and pouring libations of beer to your name for a new sig though.

[ManMachine]

Can an omnipotent god create a rock they cannot lift?