How are you today?

[festive1]

Today was chill. Took hubby for his big "V" this morning (he is doing very well!). Hung out with the boys at the pool. And I'm arguing with a biology professor to get him to let me take an advanced biology course in the fall.

[Jackalope]

Speaking from experience, the V beats getting wisdom teeth pulled any day.

[festive1]

I'd imagine so, but he went into work afterwards. I was shocked! He's only taken a couple of Tylenol... Maybe he has superpowers?

[Cyberman]

How am I today?

Drunk. Very very drunk. Nowhere near where I want to be or need to be but its srill only midafternoon yet. Wish me luck.

[Rahul]

Speaking from experience, the V beats getting wisdom teeth pulled any day.

My brother attempted to get the V years ago. They gave him a local anesthesia and started working. The problem was that he had large veins or something in the area. So the doctor couldn't figure out the right line to cut.

He messed around so long down there that the anesthesia wore off. My brother told me that it was the most painful thing he had ever experienced. And he's had a horse roll over him and break his back, broken limbs, several car wrecks, etc.

The doctor finally gave up, sewed him up, and said he wasn't a good candidate for the operation.

Due to the fact no one is more closely related to me than him, I'm terrified of trying to get one.

[Cyberman]

How I am today:

Very bad. On Wednesday I went to visit my close friend Shell as usual - I've spent a lot of time the last few months helping her with various issues and have been staying with her more times than I've been at home. Long story but I was feeling very depressed and was getting slowly but surely hammered on vodka. It turns out I'm actually a placid drunk, I just sit there like a rag doll.

Anyway we were out at her ex's place at the time. He popped out to sort things out with some other friend of his who'd knacked his telly and left us two alone. All I remember is she was needling me about being drunk, then she made some remarks about Sam which I found hurtful and offensive; particularly as she knows full well it's my most powerful button. I exploded and shouted at her to shut her mouth, that she'd got no right even to say Sam's name. I know, I over-reacted massively. Yes I was drunk but that's not the reason; I think I was caught off guard with my shields down and the alcohol probably made it easier to retaliate. Then I stormed out because I genuinely hate confrontation; it can really upset me.

Next thing, I get a few calls basically echoing the point and how I was behaving badly, then I get a text from the ex threatening me with the police if I didn't go back and pay for the telly I had apparently broken. I pointed out it was nothing to do with me and they knew that, then I get several messages from him calling me a "freak" and threatening violence for my allegedly threatening Shell; which I have never ever done nor would dream of doing, even drunk as I was. Oh and apparently I can't keep using Sam's death as an excuse to behave "like a complete and utter prick" (interesting, since it would never even have come up if Shell hadn't raised it in the first place) and I'm a "Fukin tossa" who's "trud on thin ice and cracked it and now you gotto be responsible for your actions".

The upshot is that now I'm left here on my own without the closest remaining friend I had in the world. And yes I'm on the vodka again - who cares? Who can I possibly hurt, apart from me and that's the idea?

Sorry for bringing the thread down again. Just pay me no mind.

[Rahul]

Shit, Stimbo. I've been in similar predicaments. But you've got to pull yourself out of this.

First off, you gotta lay off the booze for a while. It facilitates depression, I know for a fact. Things can get very dark indeed. Stay sober for a while and get outside as much as possible. Find some kind of group activity to get involved with. Don't just cave in on yourself.

I'm really sorry about your friend, but you're still alive. Don't just go marching after him/her.

[Savannahw]

Stimbo, It'll be ok. Sometimes when we go through something that changes our whole world, we don't have control of ourselves all the time. I know that I pushed by best friend away because I couldn't move past something. She is/was your best friend. She should have know not to push your buttons, especially when drinking. I know that your sorry for your reaction, I'm sure she will come around. If she doesn't then that is a bit ridiculous isn't? No one knows how your feeling, but you. Boone knows how long it takes to move past something, but you. It sounds like everyone needs some times to cool down. Anyway you didn't bring the thread down, that is what it is for, to talk about your day.

[festive1]

(((HUGS))) for Stimbo. You're not bringing the thread down. Personally, I think of emotional outbursts like these as emotional vomit. Sure, it can make a mess, but messes can be cleaned up, and it's better to let it out than to keep it bottled up so it can fester and get worse. It was dick of Shell to be nasty about Sam. I've got my hot button issues too, one person can say one thing and my whole week is brought down. Hopefully in a few days everyone will have calmed down and be ready to move on. And another (((HUGS)))

[Cyberman]

Thanks guys (and most especially for the hugs ). The real git of it all is that almost exactly the same scenario played out in 2010. Again it was my fault but basically Shell and Sam had a falling out and went from best friends to not speaking. Shell did try to patch things up but Sam, abetted by me, didn't want to know. Not long afterwards, we lost her and she spent her final days without her best friend. Not saying history is doomed to repeat itself, just that we're our own worst enemy and I'd hate for it to play out the same way.