Soulmates

[freedomfromforum]

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Your post is warm and sincere. I personally do not believe in a soul, let alone the soul of another to be mated with. I know from my work that our brains produce various chemical cocktails that lead to varying degrees of feeling 'love'. I also know from personal experience that some of those cocktails are stronger and more alluring to me than others, say a 'Kimberly' over a 'Sally' cocktail. On a chemical level it's really no more relevant than my preference for a 'Beer' over a 'Martini". I guess if I had any soul mate at all, it would have to be beer.

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Well, I don't literally believe in souls, either. I believe in the brain, because that is real. I only believe in soulmates because I have found one already.

I have found the woman I will happily share the rest of my life with. Yours is out there.

I think figuratively there are soul mates, we must not become too callous to our emotions. They serve us good and bad but they are what make us human. I honestly do not know what it feels like to meet "the one".

Our emotions are valuable tools. Understanding how those tools work, and how best to work with those tools is challenging and rewarding. The feeling is available - you'll find it.

[Fruity]

Soulmates don't exist. Forget about it. Love is a state of mind. Pink and red don't go good together. Valentine's day sucks.

Having said that... I think people are connected in different ways. Some people have stronger connections because they have more things going for them. For example, a pair could be linked by a certain common taste (like wine). They are connected by wine. Another pair might be linked by energy, both liking each other's look, were at the right time and place that created a special bond and force (like a concert that created a feeling of attraction and romanticism). When people feel they have met their soulmate, I think the connection is thick. There are many links sort of braided together. It can even be one thing that kind of explodes in our view making everything seem huge and unique. It's just that important to us. I think this is special. I think it is wonderful for a person to find someone like this. I don't think we are limited to one person. Connections are everywhere, and the ones that pull us closer than others will make themselves visible, since they are strong.

I don't think I have ever been in love (as in deeply in love, stand the test of time kind of thing), but I know the feeling of attraction (more than physical). I have felt the need to mention the person's name, the way the mouth salivates when saying the name or thinking about him/her, wanting to protect the person, wanting to know the person, etc. So there is a connection. The more you feed into it, the thicker the connection can be. If there is no connection to begin with, there is no pushing it. It won't happen.

Now everyone can look at me funny and walk away slowly. I'm weird. I know.

[bladevalant546]

Now that I think of on a deeper level, I honestly have no idea what it means to be deeply in love. I mean I met people that I had an attraction to, and I also see the confliction it can arise in one personality. With that said, I also know through math that there is a pinnacle of "best" out of millions seems unlikely. True love......subjective i think.

An no ivy what you say make sense, it is a piece of the larger puzzle that is humanity.

[Captain Colostomy]

No, and if there were, my luck would have it being some 70 year old camel fluffer named Moustafa.

I'm good...

[Kayenneh]

My 'soulmates' are my friends. After being bullied in primary school and losing all my friends, I took care that those I befriended were worthy of my time. I love them dearly and they are the most wonderful people to be with. To me romance has nothing to do with it, but then again I'm not big on romance.

[Owlix]

I don't take much stock in the term 'soulmate'. I can't say I've met a person I wanted to spend my life with and I don't know if I ever will. Just so long as I don't regret my life when it nearly ends.

[catfish]

They exist, no I'm not proving it.

When you find yours, you'll believe me.

[Whateverist]

Funny. I have no trouble attaching meaning to the word "soul". But my conception has nothing to do with any metaphysical essence which exists apart from our bodies. I think of soul as that which is most inextricably oneself. It is that which one is, not what one chooses. Or if you must think of it as what you choose, it is that which you can't help but choose. It is what is essential to who you are, whatever it may be that has made you that. Your true identity.

But "soul mate" I can't reconcile. "Soul tribe" perhaps. I don't believe there is one and only one person or even one best person for each one of us. There are many people with whom I could be sympatico but no two of them need be identical. And I would probably be and become somewhat different with anyone of them. Not that I would become something else, but that different potentialities may be triggered.

I've also come to value people who are different than me in important ways because they make me challenge assumptions I've never questioned. My wife of 30 years is different than me in plenty of ways though there is much on what we agree too including politics and art. Fortunately we have comparable need for solitude and intimacy which I find extremely important. Neither one of us would say that there is just one "soul mate" out there for each one of us and when one of us dies, the one who survives will probably find their way into another relationship because that is the way we both like to live.

[max-greece]

In response to the OP I seriously doubt the girl you are talking about was your Soul-mate in reality. What I think happens is that over the years you have idealized her based on a crush you had when you were much younger.

Generally I find the idea that there is that one right person out there for you entirely implausible. With 7 billion people on the earth the probability is that you would never meet. Depending on you there could be hundreds of thousands of potential life partners out there.

Most relationships start with a crush - or if you prefer, lust. That, imho, can grow into love and a lasting relationship but there is probably more luck involved in that process than anything else.

In other words, largely, soul-mates are not born, they are made, each by the other.

[kılıç_mehmet]

My 'soulmates' are my friends. After being bullied in primary school and losing all my friends, I took care that those I befriended were worthy of my time. I love them dearly and they are the most wonderful people to be with. To me romance has nothing to do with it, but then again I'm not big on romance.

Why would anyone bully a girl? Its just not fun.