Just ugh!

[pineapplebunnybounce]

I don't think that's an apt analogy. Is the rich guy the girl? Because in this analogy it sounds like if the rich guy doesn't like the food, he shouldn't complain to someone who has nothing. But if a girl doesn't like a guy who worships her and therefore goes off with someone else, what exactly did she do wrong? What choice does she have? Either she dishonestly stays with someone she doesn't like, or goes off with someone she does like. What would be her equivalent of not complaining to the poor man?

He's talking about not picking the guy who treats you like a queen. Probably all of us have done some equivalent of that in the past.

An apt analogy would be a girl who was really nice to a guy she likes, he picks someone else, one day his girlfriend cheated on him and she goes, yea well you fucking deserve it for not picking me, while thinking she's the nice one. She would be the one who's the "fake friend", but she thinks the guy is being the fake friend for not picking her.

No one forces you to stay friends. People will ask you to stay friends if they really like you as a friend (and yes, that is a real thing). You can always say no.

Well, I'm thinking more along the lines of "it's a douchebag move to complain about not having the right __x__ to someone who doesn't have __x__ at all. Whether that "x" is food or romantic affection, it's still hurtful; especially when you're playing a role in denying them whatever it is they want.

We're not even talking about that. He's just saying, if you don't pick a nice guy, you deserve whatever shit you get from the dude you pick. Which of course is ridiculous because it's 2 separate matters. Whether or not you're attracted to a "nice guy" doesn't mean you deserve some form of retaliation from karma or whatever it is. And I'm obviously not saying all men do this, obviously not all of them, it's really just a small but vocal group (but yea, they definitely exist) who likes to think: ok, fine, go ahead and pick someone else. If he cheats on you, you fucking deserve it, maybe then you'll realize what a good deal you missed out on. All the time thinking they're the nice guy and the girl is the bitch.

How can you be someone's friend and yet expect them to treat you like you're still in love with them? Being friends means trying to be platonic. You can try and fail and say, well, that's that. But if you stay on and people treat you like a friend and trust you with their problems and feelings, don't pretend like they're being the douchebag. You agreed to the deal, you're free to walk away. This is common sense and applies to both men and women who lands in the "friendzone".

[Lemonvariable72]

Here is the deal okay. You love a girl, and in trying to get her to love you, you become her friend. Now your the one that is there for her and listens and drives her home all in the hope that she will give you a chance to be her boyfriend. You maybe been at this for months or even years when another guy, possibly more attractive, just swoops in and takes everything you ever wanted. It especially hurts when can see from a mile away this guy is a douche. It hurts allot

---

Okay, I do not even under stand why some of you are even offended by this video.

[downbeatplumb]

2) Guys who are actually good, decent, respectful people who are sick and tired of the object of their affection coming to them to complain about the douchebag guys they keep dating

Why is it girls keep on dating men who are quite obviously thuggish ignorant bullies?
The number of girls who used to cry on my shoulder when their Neanderthal boyfriend treated them badly. It used to leave me perplexed because these "men" were quite obviously "wronguns" who were never going to do anything else but treat girls badly. But when a lady is complaining you cant really say "well duh".
Its not like these guys hid their nature, you could tell from across the room without them having to say a word the sort of person they are. Its in their stance and gestures, when they speak every other word is fuck FOR NO REASON I mean why say "I'm off down the fucking pub" when you mean to say "I'm off down the pub" what has "fucking" added to that sentence other than to signal to the world that you are a douchebag?
So why do the girls fling themselves at men who will only treat them badly?
It made no sense then and I still don't understand it.

It used to annoy me that the horrible guys seemed to get women easily and more sensitive souls didn't get a look in. Can you tell.

[ElleBelle]

Eh, I value the friendships I have with males in my life. Nine times out of ten, once you move forward, it turns to crap and you realize it was that friendship link you valued with them. So, in the past, I've always wanted to form the friendship bond first and foremost, and not until I just can't stand to be only friends with them is when I would move on to the next level.

[pineapplebunnybounce]

2) Guys who are actually good, decent, respectful people who are sick and tired of the object of their affection coming to them to complain about the douchebag guys they keep dating

Why is it girls keep on dating men who are quite obviously thuggish ignorant bullies?
The number of girls who used to cry on my shoulder when their Neanderthal boyfriend treated them badly. It used to leave me perplexed because these "men" were quite obviously "wronguns" who were never going to do anything else but treat girls badly. But when a lady is complaining you cant really say "well duh".
Its not like these guys hid their nature, you could tell from across the room without them having to say a word the sort of person they are. Its in their stance and gestures, when they speak every other word is fuck FOR NO REASON I mean why say "I'm off down the fucking pub" when you mean to say "I'm off down the pub" what has "fucking" added to that sentence other than to signal to the world that you are a douchebag?
So why do the girls fling themselves at men who will only treat them badly?
It made no sense then and I still don't understand it.

It used to annoy me that the horrible guys seemed to get women easily and more sensitive souls didn't get a look in. Can you tell.

I'm sure statistically speaking you will not be right. Because from my perspective, guys tend to date girls who are no good for them, leaving the good ones behind.


LemonV, lol, everyone who plays the game has a chance of getting hurt. It isn't anyone's fault. It's just the way things work, you can't get mad at a girl for not liking you just like I can't get mad at a guy for not liking me.

[Jacob(smooth)]

2) Guys who are actually good, decent, respectful people who are sick and tired of the object of their affection coming to them to complain about the douchebag guys they keep dating

Why is it girls keep on dating men who are quite obviously thuggish ignorant bullies?
The number of girls who used to cry on my shoulder when their Neanderthal boyfriend treated them badly. It used to leave me perplexed because these "men" were quite obviously "wronguns" who were never going to do anything else but treat girls badly. But when a lady is complaining you cant really say "well duh".
Its not like these guys hid their nature, you could tell from across the room without them having to say a word the sort of person they are. Its in their stance and gestures, when they speak every other word is fuck FOR NO REASON I mean why say "I'm off down the fucking pub" when you mean to say "I'm off down the pub" what has "fucking" added to that sentence other than to signal to the world that you are a douchebag?
So why do the girls fling themselves at men who will only treat them badly?
It made no sense then and I still don't understand it.

It used to annoy me that the horrible guys seemed to get women easily and more sensitive souls didn't get a look in. Can you tell.

It's like you reached through the Internet and pulled the words from out of my mouth.

[TaraJo]

It used to annoy me that the horrible guys seemed to get women easily and more sensitive souls didn't get a look in. Can you tell.

I'm sure statistically speaking you will not be right. Because from my perspective, guys tend to date girls who are no good for them, leaving the good ones behind.

I think it works both ways, here. I mean, have you ever watched Jersey Shore? Both genders on there, guys and girls, are complete douchebags, but they're constantly getting laid. And it's worth exploring why that happens, both by examinging other traits the douchebags may have that can be attractive or in looking at other sociological factors that effect all of us.

I think, for example, jerks can have more romantic/sexual success because they're willing to lie to manipulate their partner. So, for example, one of my co-workers could admit to having a less-than-stellar telephone-survey job. He's going to have a more difficult time getting women than, say, someone who has the same job but does an effective job at telling their partner that they have a more spectacular job. I think it's also worth looking at, it's easier to get romantic/sexual success if you can move from one partner to the next easily; I mean, shoot enough arrows into the air and one of them is bound to hit, right? Compare that to people who form emotional bonds more easily and quickly, and it's hard for them to really play the field (although, admittedly, it's probably better for everone if you can find a nice medium in there).

So, truth be told, it's a complex issue. Just giving it a blanket label of 'misogyny' anytime someone mentions the friendzone, that's just lazy.

[downbeatplumb]

I think, for example, jerks can have more romantic/sexual success because they're willing to lie to manipulate their partner. So, for example, one of my co-workers could admit to having a less-than-stellar telephone-survey job.

But these guys didn't lie. Their true nature was always out there with no attempt at deceit, but still the girls flocked.

here's a local boy singing about the situation.
(my sister went out with his brother)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8PScDbLdeQ

[pineapplebunnybounce]

I'm sure statistically speaking you will not be right. Because from my perspective, guys tend to date girls who are no good for them, leaving the good ones behind.

I think it works both ways, here. I mean, have you ever watched Jersey Shore? Both genders on there, guys and girls, are complete douchebags, but they're constantly getting laid. And it's worth exploring why that happens, both by examinging other traits the douchebags may have that can be attractive or in looking at other sociological factors that effect all of us.

I think, for example, jerks can have more romantic/sexual success because they're willing to lie to manipulate their partner. So, for example, one of my co-workers could admit to having a less-than-stellar telephone-survey job. He's going to have a more difficult time getting women than, say, someone who has the same job but does an effective job at telling their partner that they have a more spectacular job. I think it's also worth looking at, it's easier to get romantic/sexual success if you can move from one partner to the next easily; I mean, shoot enough arrows into the air and one of them is bound to hit, right? Compare that to people who form emotional bonds more easily and quickly, and it's hard for them to really play the field (although, admittedly, it's probably better for everone if you can find a nice medium in there).

So, truth be told, it's a complex issue. Just giving it a blanket label of 'misogyny' anytime someone mentions the friendzone, that's just lazy.

Yea, relationships are too complex to categorize. Jersey Shore is different (never watched it), but if it's a reality tv show, it's not any accurate representation of real life, lol. A portion of guys I know would go off with girls who are either incredibly high maintenance (requiring them to check in every so often) or incredibly expensive. It may seem like he's not very smart, but what if he likes her? Bystanders are just that, bystanders. He may complain about not having enough money all the time, but that doesn't mean someone else may be better for him, he like who he likes.

I don't think I said friendzone is a creation of misogyny at all. In fact I think I quite clearly said that if a girl does the equivalent she'll be the asshole not the guy. Being friends with someone and then getting mad when that you don't get promoted to bf or gf is not a very smart move, it certainly isn't anyone's fault but your own. And I maintain that it is entitlement, it's because you think putting in the work should get you the prize and you feel like it's being denied. It doesn't work like that, it's not a transaction, it's a relationship.

[TaraJo]

I think, for example, jerks can have more romantic/sexual success because they're willing to lie to manipulate their partner. So, for example, one of my co-workers could admit to having a less-than-stellar telephone-survey job.

But these guys didn't lie. Their true nature was always out there with no attempt at deceit, but still the girls flocked.

And now we're getting really deep here. See, sometimes they lie but they don't even realize they lie, usually talking about themselves. They lack the insight to really admit to anyone, even themselves, their own short comings. So, someone could be an obnoxious, cocky, narcicist, but sees pretty attractive because he's unwilling to admit it to himself. Not to mention, lack of insight can give someone the appearance of confidence, which is usually an attractive trait.

I think that's kinda what happens with both jerk guys and jerk girls: they have lot of great traits on the surface, but when you get past that, you find a whole fuck of a lot of garbage underneath. Me, I'm finding some of the people who appear not-so-perfect have some really great traits underneath. For example, my boyfriend has always complained about how the rest of the word doesn't see him as attractive and he's always down on himself, but he's also the most genuine, sweetest guy I know.