I don't want to live in this country anymore.

[Jackalope]

According to a survey by the National Science Foundation, a majority of young American adults think astrology is a science.

http://www.upi.com/Science_News/Blog/201...392135954/

[orogenicman]

Not sure if that is a good reason to jump ship. There are worse things to believe in.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

This was the disturbing bit:

Skepticism of astrology hit an all-time high in 2004, when 66 percent of Americans said astrology was total nonsense.

Really? That was the high...sixty-six percent?? This means that a full third of Americans believed that astrology was something OTHER than total nonsense.

I like Americans, honestly. I've been to the US more than once, and the people I met were overwhelmingly kind, generous and warm-hearted. But c'mon - astrology?

Boru

[Jackalope]

This was the disturbing bit:

Skepticism of astrology hit an all-time high in 2004, when 66 percent of Americans said astrology was total nonsense.

Really? That was the high...sixty-six percent?? This means that a full third of Americans believed that astrology was something OTHER than total nonsense.

I like Americans, honestly. I've been to the US more than once, and the people I met were overwhelmingly kind, generous and warm-hearted. But c'mon - astrology?

Boru

I wouldn't know. I'm Canadian, eh.

[Jacob(smooth)]

This was the disturbing bit:

Skepticism of astrology hit an all-time high in 2004, when 66 percent of Americans said astrology was total nonsense.

Really? That was the high...sixty-six percent?? This means that a full third of Americans believed that astrology was something OTHER than total nonsense.

I like Americans, honestly. I've been to the US more than once, and the people I met were overwhelmingly kind, generous and warm-hearted. But c'mon - astrology?

Boru

You're obviously cynical. You don't accept ideas easily and hold yourself to high intellectual standards.

I'm guessing Taurus.

[Nine]

Are we sure they aren't just confusing astrology with astronomy? People seem to get the names of the two mixed up for some reason. Probably because they are fucking stupid..

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

You're obviously cynical. You don't accept ideas easily and hold yourself to high intellectual standards.

I'm guessing Taurus.

Shows how much YOU know. Aries - we're too level headed to believe in astrology. Says so right here in my horoscope.

Boru

---

I wouldn't know. I'm Canadian, eh.

I spent a week in Glace Bay one night.

Boru

[Jackalope]

Are we sure they aren't just confusing astrology with astronomy? People seem to get the names of the two mixed up for some reason. Probably because they are fucking stupid..

Regardless, the fact remains that either way, it's stupid and ignorant.

[Jacob(smooth)]

Some horoscopes are more accurate than others I get mine from Psychic Bob

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
You boycott your local cafe after reading in the paper that a millionaire footballer like Juan Mata has been allowing his brother Fecal to work in the kitchen.

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
This week you get into a furious argument with somebody in the queue for the condolence book over whether it should be ‘suck demon’s dick’ or ‘suck demon dicks’.

Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
No word from the Oxford English Dictionary editors about your new definition of the word ‘circumnavigating’ – “A man knighted for his services to gay bukkake porn’.

Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
The weather gets worse after the weekend, temperatures dropping to 3 degrees, but with the wind chill factor it will feel like you want to start sobbing then kill yourself.

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
Your exclusive interview with David Bowie starts badly when you point out that astronauts tend to be pilots and ‘Major’ Tom would actually have been ‘Squadron Leader’ Tom.

 Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
The graph showing the likelihood of a plan not working and its relative craziness is a straight line upwards, not a bell curve, as your defence lawyer patiently explains to you.

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
Bolivian, 100% pure, with a street value of £20,000 per kg. The price of organic coffee is absolutely scandalous today, isn’t it?

Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
The joy that a celebrity retweeted one of your comments this week will be tempered by the realization that it’s utterly meaningless and one day everyone on this planet will be dead.

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
Well, that’s a relief – everyone at work accuses you of talking out of your arse not because they disbelieve you but because of how your breath smells.

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
Avoiding garlic and eating pineapple can help to make your semen taste more palatable. Or you can just stop drinking the sodding stuff.

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Jupiter said he has naked pictures of your mum. Are you going to take that shit off him? He said you could have twelve for the price of one because nobody wants them. Harsh.

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)

(This horoscope has been removed by the moderator for excessive use of the phrase ‘engorged member’.)

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

Psychic Bob can suck it. Here are PROPER horoscopes:

AQUARIUS - Jan 20-Feb 18:
You have an inventive mind & are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand you are inclined to be careless & impractical causing you to make the same mistakes over & over again. People think you are stupid.

PISCES - Feb 19-Mar 20:
You have a vivid imagination & often think you are being followed by the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your associates & people resent you for your flaunting of your power. You lack confidence & are generally a coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.

ARIES - Mar 21-Apr 19:
You are the pioneer type & hold most people in contempt. You are quick-tempered, impatient & scornful of advice. You are not very nice.

TAURUS - Apr 20-May 20:
You are practical & persistent. You have a dogged determination & work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn & bullheaded. You are a Communist.

GEMINI - May 21-June 20:
You are a quick & intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap. Geminis are known for committing incest.

CANCER - June 21-July 22:
You are sympathetic & understanding to other people's problems. They think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That's why you'll never make anything of yourself. Most welfare recipients are Cancer people.

LEO - July 23-Aug 22:
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leo people are bullies. You are vain & dislike honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are known thieves.

VIRGO - Aug 23-Sep 22:
You are the logical type & hate disorder. This nit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold & unemotional & sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.

LIBRA - Sep 23-Oct 22:
You are the artistic type & have a difficult time with reality. If you are a man you are more than likely queer. Chances for employment & monetary gain are excellent. Most Libra women are good prostitutes. All Libras die of venereal disease.

SCORPIO - Oct 23-Nov 21:
You're shrewd in business & cannot be trusted. You shall achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpio people are murdered.

SAGITTARIUS - Nov 22-Dec 21:
You are optimistic & enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks or dope fiends. People laugh at you a great deal.

CAPRICORN - Dec 22-Jan 19:
You are conservative & afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything & are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still too long as they tend to take root & become trees.

Boru