Twilight Rant Thread

[StealthySkeptic]

Never read the books, but thought the first movie was average and the fake battle in the finale was fun. I was so bored on the rest of the films that all I remember is a shirtless wolf boy, poor love story, and no action.

I'll stick with The Notebook and Titanic for Valentines Day.

I love Titanic but don't fucking get me started on The Notebook.

[Elskidor]

I could switch out the Notebook for Moulin Rogue of any of them with a bitter sweet tear jerking ending.

[Clueless Morgan]

Haven't read the books and don't intend to. But the movies are GREAT, provided you watch them with Rifftrax. We've spent several family evenings just howling over them. These movies were just made for Riftrax. ---- It the only way to watch the Star Wars prequels too.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

This is gonna be good.

Which movie should I look up first?...

[DeistPaladin]

I'm late to the party, I know, but Twilight reminds me of a joke I once heard about a student in a Creative Writing class who's professor tells him, "What you have submitted is both original and good. The problem is the parts that are good are not original and the parts that are original are not good."

The only parts I like about that train wreck of a movie were the parts Mayer seemed to have cribbed from the RPGs "Vampire the Masquerade" and "Werewolf, the Apocalypse". My wife tells me that the RPGs in turn cribbed these aspects from classic mythology about vampires and werewolves. There's something about stories that play off the animosity (or in some stories, genocidal warfare) between these two types of "monsters".

Vampire: "Animal!"
Werewolf: "Leech!"
Vampire: "Savage!"
Werewolf: "Abomination!"

Of course, I've seen this story done way better by other authors. You probably could have recorded the adventures mapped out during a table top RPG of a Vampire/Werewolf campaign and created a better movie.

[StealthySkeptic]

I'm late to the party, I know, but Twilight reminds me of a joke I once heard about a student in a Creative Writing class who's professor tells him, "What you have submitted is both original and good. The problem is the parts that are good are not original and the parts that are original are not good."

The only parts I like about that train wreck of a movie were the parts Mayer seemed to have cribbed from the RPGs "Vampire the Masquerade" and "Werewolf, the Apocalypse". My wife tells me that the RPGs in turn cribbed these aspects from classic mythology about vampires and werewolves. There's something about stories that play off the animosity (or in some stories, genocidal warfare) between these two types of "monsters".

Vampire: "Animal!"
Werewolf: "Leech!"
Vampire: "Savage!"
Werewolf: "Abomination!"

Of course, I've seen this story done way better by other authors. You probably could have recorded the adventures mapped out during a table top RPG of a Vampire/Werewolf campaign and created a better movie.

That would be freaking awesome.

[Silver]

I am not ashamed to admit I enjoyed both the books and the films of the Twilight Saga.

[DeistPaladin]

...You probably could have recorded the adventures mapped out during a table top RPG of a Vampire/Werewolf campaign and created a better movie.

That would be freaking awesome.

About 15 years ago, I was in a Vampire campaign as John Shepherd of clan Ventrue (those are the "blue bloods" or the sophisticated, high-society vampires for those who've never played the RPG). He was "embraced" or transformed into a vampire over 200 years ago in colonial Boston, just prior to the revolution. His "sire", or the vampire who remade him, Sinclair was hoping to use him to subvert the independence movement. When John turned on his sire, Sinclair sent his minions to kill his family. He was able to defeat the minions but tragically frenzied (I probably don't need to explain what that is) and ended up killing his own family by his own hand. Haunted by this tragic event, he's since sought to control the beast within and do penance by seeking to use his powers for good ends.

From later wounds suffered during the war, Shepherd was knocked into a deep slumber, also known as "torpor", for 200+ years, awakening in modern America. Anyone who's seen "Sleepy Hollow" and its protagonist Ichabod Crane has an idea of the brilliant-but-hopelessly-anachronistic character I role played.





...except that it was John Adams and not Washington that Shepherd personally knew. It was 15 years ago, so I wasn't copying. Needless to say, I love this show and it brings back memories of the campaign.

Anyway, it is possible in the Vampire the Masquerade system to avoid killing and maintain your humanity. Unlike with Anne Rice's world, vampires need about a pint of blood every three nights or so. It's possible to sustain yourself by sipping a pint here and there. The mortal who's fed upon blisses out during the experience and remembers nothing about it. As long as you keep from running out of blood, you can maintain your self-control and prevent yourself from being truly dangerous. Still, it's a point of angst since he's still preying upon unsuspecting mortals, and the strict vampire law against revealing his true nature to the mortals precludes asking for permission. His choice is the lesser evil, "beast I am lest beast I become".

His companion was his thrall named simply Tim (played by a different player). Far from being the obsequious "yes master" Renfeld type, he was quite willful and not afraid to butt heads with his vampire "master". As a foil to Shepherd's refinement, anachronism and idealism, Tim was edgy, tech savvy and streetwise.

Being the broad-minded diplomat, he meets with a werewolf pack alpha named Edward Marlow. The two form an unusual alliance against darker forces that threaten Shepherd's current home town, Chicago. The alliance is a source of tension for both of them with their respective people. To the werewolves, a vampire is an abomination before Gaia that should be slain on sight. To the vampires, werewolves are mindless savages and has Shepherd lost his mind dealing with them?

There. Dare I say, better movie.

[StealthySkeptic]

MUCH better movie! By far!

[Clueless Morgan]

I am not ashamed to admit I enjoyed both the books and the films of the Twilight Saga.

[StealthySkeptic]

I am not ashamed to admit I enjoyed both the books and the films of the Twilight Saga.