New here and need advice

[Aoi Magi]

I come from a pretty much agnostic family with my mom being an atheist so I can't really advice on your situation. However based on my experience with my friends and such I'll suggest coming out as an agnostic or not-sure/don't-care type before you claim yourself to a be hell-bound sodomite (that's the standard definition of an atheist to the believers). Just say something like you are not really sure about the religious teachings and would rather prefer to find things out for yourself, also make sure to explain that you are not going against your loved ones or their faith, rather you are trying to define your own beliefs for yourself. Don't go into a debate or argument just yet, let them ease in a bit first and slowly accept that you are a lost cause. Also since you are already independent, I think it's about time you do find a way to tell them soon, it will help ease your mind and also it is a lot better coming from you rather than them finiding about it later in some other way.


oh and

WELCOME






@Losty, hey where are my cookies?

[KichigaiNeko]

[Mystical]

I am 25, I just moved to PA (first time not living in TX, IT'S INCREDIBLE) and I am very close to my family. The only negative effects would be judgement, sadness, disappointment, etc… I have ALWAYS been a people pleaser, although that tendency has faded as I have grown up, it's still part of me. The weird thing is, if I remove myself from the situation, I know my family would still love and support me but I'm still scared/anxious. When my family members tell me that they will pray for me or to "trust in god", I cringe. I don't really feel guilty but it does feel a bit dishonest. Like I said, I am very close to my family but I also feel strongly about secularism. I can't really be active with my perspective as long as they think I am still a christian. I am stuck.

Heh. I came out in a facebook post to my family, and they stiLL tell me they'll pray for me and shit! I thank them with a thankful heart, because I know it's only their way of saying that they love me and they're thinking about me. If they told me to trust in god, I'd tell them a tangible plan of action that I will enact. Nothing can substitute for putting in the hard work. In retrospect, I'm happy I 'came out'. It means that those I love truly know who I am. Looking back I wish I'd been more benign about it. I came out defensive, saying if you guys can post your opinions then I can mine and anyone who doesn't like it can unfriend me. I regret it, but I don't regret defending my beliefs when some of them called me out. Turns out one of my family members who truly daunted me--can't tell me other than his awe at some geometric flower, why he believes in god. But now our relationship is stronger with 90% of my family. My dad cried, I wish my brother hadn't told him.

Anyways, good luck with whichever decision you make. Imo it doesn't matter what we believe, but who we are and how we act.

:Welcome:

[fr0d0]

Run away quick before it's too late!!!

[Mystical]

Dont listen to him ^^
He's a hoary hobbit.