I met my partner three years ago and at that time she already had two children whom she was raising in the Catholic faith. She is by no means devout but asked me not to "push" atheism onto them. Of course they're her children so I politely agreed. The tacit agreement was that I could say I didn't believe in God but no more than that. My problem is this. The longer this scenario prevails the more I think, well why should you be able to share your views and I not mine. After all, regardless of what they end up believing, isn't it more important that they can accept and debate a difference of opinion?
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Current time: January 2, 2025, 9:33 pm
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a question of partners
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 (November 14, 2014 at 8:28 pm)fojo Wrote: I met my partner three years ago and at that time she already had two children whom she was raising in the Catholic faith. She is by no means devout but asked me not to "push" atheism onto them. Of course they're her children so I politely agreed. The tacit agreement was that I could say I didn't believe in God but no more than that. My problem is this. The longer this scenario prevails the more I think, well why should you be able to share your views and I not mine. After all, regardless of what they end up believing, isn't it more important that they can accept and debate a difference of opinion? They're her kids, respect her wishes. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I get that boru. And I have stuck rigidly to the agreement despite my constant ridiculing at the hands of an eight years old haha. But I don't think you're quite getting my point. I have no problem with them being raised in the Catholic faith. I've gone to first communion etc. My issue is with my gagging order. If I'm asked a question honestly, why can't I answer it honestly?
Lemonvariable72
Copenhagen School  Religious Views: Its all bullshit to keep you handing money to the usher. (November 14, 2014 at 9:08 pm)fojo Wrote: I get that boru. And I have stuck rigidly to the agreement despite my constant ridiculing at the hands of an eight years old haha. But I don't think you're quite getting my point. I have no problem with them being raised in the Catholic faith. I've gone to first communion etc. My issue is with my gagging order. If I'm asked a question honestly, why can't I answer it honestly? Probably because she has a problem with you being a atheist
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day, To the last syllable of recorded time; And all our yesterdays have lighted fools The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle! Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player, That struts and frets his hour upon the stage, And then is heard no more. It is a tale Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing. 
Odds are she will regard that as breaking the agreement.
I know minimalist. It's a tough one to bite your lip so frequently. I think she's slowly realising how important it is to me. I'd never betray her trust though just waiting for the invite
Now, if she wanted to do something very dangerous...like leave her kid alone with a pervert priest, then you would have to put your foot down.
RE: a question of partners
November 14, 2014 at 9:33 pm
(This post was last modified: November 14, 2014 at 9:34 pm by fojo.)
You have a terrible image of priests, I prefer to see them as imbeciles rather than perverts haha
No problem with my atheism lemon
I don't know if it would be considered against the intent of your agreement, but perhaps you might consider introducing them to some greek / roman mythology for fun.
 RE: a question of partners
November 15, 2014 at 3:54 am
(This post was last modified: November 15, 2014 at 3:55 am by Alex K.)
I would consider this need to shut out important parts of my personality out of the relationship and the family unacceptable in the long run. If the relationship hopefully works out indefinitely, this is supposed to become your family, isn't it, and as things stand, you are not yet accepted in it as you are. I understand the agreement, the question is, can you live with it in the long run. Of course, how long are you expected to keep this up anyhow? I mean, the kids get older and it is not an acceptable demand to hide your thoughts from them indefinitely when they grow up.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition
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