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Ah, TheOnion
#1
Ah, TheOnion
http://www.theonion.com/article/research...nd-c-50778

Quote:Researchers Say Virgin Mary Actually God’s Second Choice To Bear Son
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#2
RE: Ah, TheOnion
Was this other hoe also the product of an immaculate conception?
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#3
RE: Ah, TheOnion
I'm pretty sure there was more than one virgin birth story before christianity came along. Not to mention that Zeus was basically a bestiality sex god in some respects.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#4
RE: Ah, TheOnion
god sucks at everything, dating included.
Quote:To know yet to think that one does not know is best; Not to know yet to think that one knows will lead to difficulty.
- Lau Tzu

Join me on atheistforums Slack Cool Shades (pester tibs via pm if you need invite) Tongue

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#5
RE: Ah, TheOnion
Was Erica 12 years old too? ._.
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#6
RE: Ah, TheOnion
Wait!!! You guys didn't hear????
Mary cheated on Joseph. She knew she got pregnant and the guy the guy was a Roman soldier just passing through.
She didn't want to loose Joseph because she didn't think he hot or all that bright but he treated her well! Better than any other man she had been with and she also worried about her reputation! Getting stoned to death? Not what she wanted!
That's when it hit her.. *BAM!* She knew what had to be done!!!
Lucky the simple-minded & codependent Joseph did buy her story of an angel saying that "gurl you' g'on have child! & that child g'on be special! You g'on be virgin baby mama O' de Lord! Mmm hmmm! & in 6 month time too!!!"
Poor simple minded, loving Joe bought it hook, line & sinker!!!
Problem was, Mary couldn't come clean!!!
She didn't know just how out of control her lie would have gotten and you know how some lying cheaters have horrible self-esteem. She didn't mind so much the fame and worship!!!
True Story
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#7
RE: Ah, TheOnion
[Image: article-1236575-07A1878D000005DC-438_634x311.jpg]
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#8
RE: Ah, TheOnion
Three months later, Mary's a gal in trouble
and she hasn't seen God for a while, oh
she hasn't seen God for a while . . . .
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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#9
RE: Ah, TheOnion
[Image: acef46e681ef0ed4d35d5a9b82a9507b.jpg]
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#10
RE: Ah, TheOnion
(June 30, 2015 at 1:00 pm)Chad32 Wrote: I'm pretty sure there was more than one virgin birth story before christianity came along. Not to mention that Zeus was basically a bestiality sex god in some respects.

But his sex stories are much more fun. Especially since he had to change into all kinds of animals to evade Hera's wrath.
[Image: Bumper+Sticker+-+Asheville+-+Praise+Dog3.JPG]
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