Solitude

[88infinity88]

I don't really have anything other than, at almost 40, I prefer to be alone. Other than seeing my Mother and Father I have absolutely no interest at this point in my life to have any sort of social life with any local person. I should clarify, I live in the Bible B.S. Belt with no one of like mind in real life to interact with.There were a few friends but they all had to go because they had a consistent factor of being completely fucking crazy in one way or the other ( see my intro thread ) or the lacking trait of being a complete dullard..so if I can't interact with those of similar like mind via the internet, I stay at home and read etc. and try to not think about the fact that locational wise I feel very isolated.I live in a very small town.

I am a guitarist, and when i am not doing that I am reading, if not that... something else. In my youth I would get "bored" .. and it would lead to negative things. I still get bored but I won't let it manifest in a negative fashion.

I used to think I *had* to have a girlfriend or I did not feel whole. X amount of nightmarish relationships and faux "friendships" later, I am at the happiest point of my life ... 20 years of depression and having a life with no meaning being past ashes .I am especially careful not to let external forces ( people ) mess with my balance at this point.

This very negative drunkard sort of local has been blowing my phone up for two fucking days. This clown has called and/or texted more than twenty times. This is not the pushy Jesus guy I spoke about in my intro thread, just another clown I need gone from my field of effect.

I hope in the near future I am able to move from this place to somewhere far off where I don't have to isolate. I am actually quite sociable, I am just used to not being near, or able to find those of like mind so I don't expect much other than to be left alone by local clowns. Thanks for letting me rant.

[Minimalist]

Don't you have caller ID or something?  Can't you block him out.  Even an asshole jesus freak will catch on eventually...although sometimes you have to smack them over the  head.

[robvalue]

I'm sorry you're surrounded by such lunacy. I think it would have the same effect on me. I wonder if there are any atheist/free thinking groups in your area?

I hope you'll be able to move one day to somewhere you can feel more comfortable with those around you.

[Longhorn]

Yea, look online for atheist/free thinkers groups in your area

I know the feels. If it wasn't for AF, I'd be the loneliest panda ever :c

[brewer]

What's stopping you from moving now? Mom and Pops?

"Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me. Town to keep me movin', keep me groovin' with some energy." Some Funky Town motivation.

[TheRealJoeFish]

What's stopping you from moving now? Mom and Pops?

"Gotta make a move to a town that's right for me. Town to keep me movin', keep me groovin' with some energy." Some Funky Town motivation.

"Lord, I've gotta keep on moving,
Lord, I've gotta get on down,
Lord, I've gotta keep on moving,
Where I can't be found..."

- Bob Marley

[Chad32]

I've become a bit of a loner too. I still socialize with my family, and people at the gym I go to, but I spend a lot of time alone at my house. Though of course I also socialize online, but my neighbors don't seem to think that counts.

I do feel the need to get out of the house on a regular basis, which is the primary reason I go to a gym instead of converting a room into a weight room. Cabin fever may take some months to set in, but it does set in. After graduating from school I spent a year just hanging out without a schedule. Helping my parents with the move. But eventually I just needed something to get me out of the house, so I got a job.

I guess I'm not a total recluse, but I don't have a need for human interaction very often.

[88infinity88]

I have pretty limited financial resources and other than to teach guitar ( I can/used to perform but I hate it so much if it's "formal" ) and tune pianos I have no other source of extra income. I am working on expanding my possibilities and finding some free thinking/atheist groups. Southern Illinois University is about an hour from me. From my experience living in this area my entire life, possibly so long that I may lose the longing to leave at some point, Carbondale IL seems a logical spot . I just need time to figure out something.

The person blowing my phone up is just what I get for trying to mix with those I have nothing in common with. I have known this person for a long time , he or she just comes with too much baggage and seems to be doing the exact opposite of what I am trying to do in life. I want to move forward while this person only regresses. He or she more often than not just wants somewhere to go to get away from the nightmare at home ( wife, kids, misery, alcoholism ) and though I tried to lend help in the past, I am not a parking spot. This person does not understand though. Enough about this though.