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limericks!
#51
RE: limericks!
With fallacy the fundies will posit
We are just heathens demonic
But you can't argue
With our robvalue
When he revs up the chainsaw of logic
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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#52
RE: limericks!
There once was an Id in my I
Which wondered who, whence, where and why.
It slipped on a Freud,
stared into the void
And saw that the I is a lie.
The fool hath said in his heart, There is a God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
Psalm 14, KJV revised edition

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#53
RE: limericks!
Almost daily I have sat and thought
Of the gap 'tween the is and the ought
'Tween concepts objective
And culture's projective
The feel and the think ever fought.
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost

I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.

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#54
RE: limericks!
(October 10, 2015 at 12:58 pm)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote: Almost daily I have sat and thought
Of the gap 'tween the is and the ought
'Tween concepts objective
And culture's projective
The feel and the think ever fought.

Clap    Ok, that one makes my brain hurt a little.  Keep 'em coming! (Time for me to start working on a new one.)
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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#55
RE: limericks!
The preachers keep comin' around
Tho' their stories get stomped to the ground
We block 'em and ban 'em
Out-talk and out-ran 'em
Not preachers, but masochists we've found.

B'lievers say faith means "I know."
Their BOOK says, and that makes it so
If it said "you'll fly"
Instead of "you'll die" 
Off bridges they surely would go.

(Ok that was lame, but it started out as a generic
homage to Mark 16:18)
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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#56
RE: limericks!
Jesus won't be doing defacement
Or any apocalyptic displacement
He won't end our life
He'll cause us no strife
Because he's locked up in my basement
Feel free to send me a private message.
Please visit my website here! It's got lots of information about atheism/theism and support for new atheists.

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#57
RE: limericks!
(October 10, 2015 at 2:14 pm)robvalue Wrote: Jesus won't be doing defacement
Or any apocalyptic displacement
He won't end our life
He'll cause us no strife
Because he's locked up in my basement

Robvalue kidnaped my landscaper
In what's proving to be quite a caper
He thought him the Savior
And for false misbehavior!
(Hey-zoos looks like Jesus on paper.)
A Christian told me: if you were saved you cant lose your salvation. you're sealed with the Holy Ghost

I replied: Can I refuse? Because I find the entire concept of vicarious blood sacrifice atonement to be morally abhorrent, the concept of holding flawed creatures permanently accountable for social misbehaviors and thought crimes to be morally abhorrent, and the concept of calling something "free" when it comes with the strings of subjugation and obedience perhaps the most morally abhorrent of all... and that's without even going into the history of justifying genocide, slavery, rape, misogyny, religious intolerance, and suppression of free speech which has been attributed by your own scriptures to your deity. I want a refund. I would burn happily rather than serve the monster you profess to love.

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#58
RE: limericks!
(October 10, 2015 at 2:54 pm)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote:
(October 10, 2015 at 2:14 pm)robvalue Wrote: Jesus won't be doing defacement
Or any apocalyptic displacement
He won't end our life
He'll cause us no strife
Because he's locked up in my basement

Robvalue kidnaped my landscaper
In what's proving to be quite a caper
He thought him the Savior
And for false misbehavior!
(Hey-zoos looks like Jesus on paper.)

When SWAT was tipped of the taking
They went'a breaching and banging
Found nothing in the room
Just an empty tomb
'Cept a taco Jesus was making
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
Reply
#59
RE: limericks!
(October 10, 2015 at 4:04 pm)Exian Wrote:
(October 10, 2015 at 2:54 pm)TheRocketSurgeon Wrote: Robvalue kidnaped my landscaper
In what's proving to be quite a caper
He thought him the Savior
And for false misbehavior!
(Hey-zoos looks like Jesus on paper.)

When SWAT was tipped of the taking
They went'a breaching and banging
Found nothing in the room
Just an empty tomb
'Cept a taco Jesus was making

the taco looked untouched and tasty
the cops ate it and they were quite hasty
after three days went by
jesus turned up and cried
cause he thought cops only ate pastries
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#60
RE: limericks!
There was an atheist
who took a piss
on the cross while drunk.

In walked the monk
who took a piss
right on the atheist.
“The man who can't visualize a horse galloping on a tomato is an idiot.”
~ André Breton
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