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Unromantic Atheism?
#11
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
It goes without saying that most people are capable love. And I'm certainly capable of romantic gestures. But I'm not comfortable with the thought of having romantic feelings or sentiment. I simply don't have the faith required to believe that love can fix everything. Or even most things.

I was aware of that before I was an atheist, though.
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#12
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
I've been toying with this idea for a while now. I've made a lot of decisions recently based on what makes sense and what's good for the most people, and most of them have left me more in the depressed area of emotions rather than on the happier end. Then I look at people who have made gut reaction choices and decisions based on a romantic feeling, and I see how happy they are with themselves. It makes me think I should start doing more things based on how I feel just to see if there is a variable I'm missing, or maybe even an emergent quality of certain choices that I couldn't possibly predict.

More on topic, I see myself as a romantic person, but I'm horrible at showing it. And I'm even worse at drumming it up. If I'm not genuinely inspired, it's not happening.
I can't remember where this verse is from, I think it got removed from canon:

"I don't hang around with mostly men because I'm gay. It's because men are better than women. Better trained, better equipped...better. Just better! I'm not gay."

For context, this is the previous verse:

"Hi Jesus" -robvalue
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#13
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
(November 22, 2015 at 7:47 pm)Stimbo Wrote: I wouldn't know. Chance would be a fine thing.

Am I coming off as resentful? Because I am.

You're entitled. You've got good reason to be.
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#14
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
Good.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist.  This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair.  Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second.  That means there's a situation vacant.'
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#15
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
(November 22, 2015 at 6:37 pm)Thena323 Wrote: Are are you still open to feeling and demonstrating romantic love, in spite of your inclinations?

Of course. Acknowledging the reason an emotion exists doesn't negate the emotion. Although I admit I was rational about choosing my spouse, preferring friendship and common interests to romance. Being unrealistic will just increase the risk of divorce later. Plenty of room for love with someone you already trust.

Love is a combination of emotion and hormones resulting in a strong positive feeling for someone, sometimes resulting in emotional beer-goggles leaving you almost blind to that person’s flaws. If you want to be with someone based purely on love or lust that’s fine. But if you want a long-term relationship find a really good friend (Who you wouldn’t mind sleeping with); someone you get along with even in the boring, annoying times, because there are going to be no end of them and if you can be content in those moments you’re set for life.
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. ~ George Bernard Shaw
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#16
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
I love my wife because she's a good person, and good for me emotionally and psychologically. Intellect and emotions aren't opposites, they're just occasionally in conflict: the problems that we see with being overly emotional are all cases where our emotions lead us to ignore evidence that might otherwise lead us to a different conclusion, but that doesn't mean that we cannot have rationally justified, emotionally satisfying views and actions. It just means we gotta realize that our emotions overcompensate sometimes, which is hardly a controversial opinion. We have all sorts of terms to describe people acting precisely that way.

Quote:It goes without saying that most people are capable love. And I'm certainly capable of romantic gestures. But I'm not comfortable with the thought of having romantic feelings or sentiment. I simply don't have the faith required to believe that love can fix everything. Or even most things.

Love isn't magic, nor is it a solution to problems (well, not unrelated problems. It certainly has its benefits), because love isn't a thing on its own. It's contextual and informed by the person you happen to be in love with. Ideally that person can prompt you to work on your problems out of care for your best interests, but that change will always come from within, not without. You just might be in a better psychological place to accomplish that change if you're buoyed by a loving relationship.

No need to have faith in love's ability to fix things. Indulging in it because it feels good and can do some things is plenty sufficient: stuff doesn't have to be perfect to be worth having.
"YOU take the hard look in the mirror. You are everything that is wrong with this world. The only thing important to you, is you." - ronedee

Want to see more of my writing? Check out my (safe for work!) site, Unprotected Sects!
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#17
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
(November 22, 2015 at 6:37 pm)Thena323 Wrote: You dismiss the notion of soulmates as a flight of fancy, for obvious reasons. You also believe that emotion and sentiment have a tendency to hamper proper decision-making. 

Why? Because you're a skeptic and choose to employ a realistic approach to life, as to one entrenched in idealistic thinking. It wouldn't take much of a stretch for someone to assume that you don't put much stock in the expression of softer emotions, though they could very well be wrong. 

Are are you still open to feeling and demonstrating romantic love, in spite of your inclinations?

It is extremely rational to demonstrate romantic love in order to not lose half of everything I own. It is entirely consistent with every aspect of my inclinations.
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#18
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
(November 22, 2015 at 6:37 pm)Thena323 Wrote: Are are you still open to feeling and demonstrating romantic love, in spite of your inclinations?

Love is just brain and body chemistry.
"Never trust a fox. Looks like a dog, behaves like a cat."
~ Erin Hunter
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#19
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
(November 22, 2015 at 7:33 pm)Beccs Wrote: Doesn't a quick bang with random people count as romantic?

Indeed, nothing can be more romantic than when every time is as if it were the first time.
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#20
RE: Unromantic Atheism?
(November 22, 2015 at 7:59 pm)Exian Wrote: I've been toying with this idea for a while now. I've made a lot of decisions recently based on what makes sense and what's good for the most people, and most of them have left me more in the depressed area of emotions rather than on the happier end. 

Genuinely kind and considerate people often forget to consider themselves, don't they? 
You're "most people" too, right? Smile
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