The Bible in 3 Parts, Cliffs Notes......

[Brian37]

Part One..... "A Night At The Frat Keg Party"

God..... "I'm board, this Alpha Omega needs some action, lets see if if I can get my rival Sigma Alpha Tau Alpha Nu to play poker with and we can use humans as chips and every loosing hand the loser drinks and the poker chip dies."

So they play for eons lots of people die, God wakes up with a lampshade on his head, realizing he messed the entire frat house up. Not wanting kicked off campus, he comes up with a plan.

Part Two, "Shit, I really fucked this place up, I'm going to clone myself and have my pledge Jesus clean it up for me."

So he wobbles over to a Sorority House and finds a Freshman named Mu Alpha Rho Rho Upsilon (go with me on this according to wiki "Upsilon" can be a Y or U.)

God, "Look sis, I am in a bind, I don't want to get kicked out of my own frat house, but I really made a mess, I am too drunk to clean it up, can you lend a guy a hand?"

Mu Alpha Rho Rho Upsilon, " Well, I am kinda seeing this other guy, don't know if he likes me talking to strangers"

God, " It's ok, if you do me, I'll make you famous, you wont feel a thing, in fact, I can slip you a roofie".

Mu Alpha Rho Rho Upsilon, "I don't know"

God, "Too late, you're knocked out, Barry White is already playing. Damn, that was quick, no time to enjoy it."

Mu Alpha Rho Rho Upsilon, "I feel funny, what just happened?"

God, "Nothing, I cloned myself, send me over to my Frat house so I can clean it up".

Mu Alpha Rho Rho Upsilon, "I'm woozy, but I guess that's ok, sure".

God," Great"

A few minutes later back at Alpha Omega his magic pledge/him arrived, but none of the frat boys liked him at first, he slowly cleaned the frat house up, taught them how to do charity on top of that, and they made him Frat President. God was proud of his pledge.

Part 3, "Hair of the dog"

God, "I am so proud of my pledge, I'm going to kick all the other Frat Houses asses and burn this campus down to the ground".

[Fake Messiah]

What about in one poster?



Oh no!! Which ones did you broke therefore insulted God and now will be forever and ever tortured and smeared by the devils!

Funny thing of course is that wearing gold is forbidden and yet all the Bishops and fucking Popes are wearing it and decorating fucking churches with it. But it's ok for them because God told them it's OK, but it's not OK for you so you better give that doomed things to them to exorcise them by smelting and wearing it on themselves as rings, crosses, staffs...

[Brian37]

Asshole, how are theists supposed to prop up bronze age morality without cherry picking?

[Fake Messiah]

It's not just cherry picking but hiding. There is no means Christians wouldn't use to hide "really bad" parts from the Bible which means publishing all sorts of versions of the filthy stupid book. Like the Bible told trough Minecraft:



I'm just waiting for the version of Bible: "Story of The Bible Told Trough Apparitions on Molds on Sandwiches, Blood Soaked Pads, Dog's Assholes, Bathroom Doors, Glory Holes and Alike"

[Aoi Magi]

Well for now just try getting through the crowdfunded "bible told through emojis"

[Fake Messiah]

Aoi Magi, you're right! Why wait now that we have the kickstarter?! I will start my own kickstarter in bringing "Story of The Bible Told Trough Apparitions on Molds on Sandwiches, Blood Soaked Pads, Dog's Assholes, Bathroom Doors, Glory Holes and Alike" to help more soles to be saved. I already started doing parts of it that I will put on kickstarter page. Here's a sample: