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Your parents.
#31
RE: Your parents.
We were never wealthy, but we didn't go without, our Dad liked to treat us. I think with my paternal grandparents being immigrants, they had struggled sometimes when Dad and his sisters were growing up, and he wanted to give me and my brother the childhood he didn't have. I was always closer to my Dad (and my grandmother on his side, although my grandfather died when I was 4). I'd used to go and spend a few days staying with my paternal grandmother as a child, and I really liked that, she never had much but we always had fun.

With my Mother I've always been more distant. We don't argue now, but she was stricter growing up and sometimes lost her temper with me and my brother easily. Sometimes she'd hit us, but it wasn't often or extreme when she did, and it was only when we had really driven her to it. I think with me it worked, she had me disciplined strait-laced, but it pushed my brother's behavior worse. Her parents are different to my paternal grandparents. Equally as caring, but they are the most stereotypically British grandparents (even though, ancestrally, they're Irish and German) and they have been somewhat better off than my Dad's parents. It's a big contrast to my Dad's side.

My brother was a lot to handle at times with his severe ADHD (still is occasionally tbh), so he got more attention than me. I didn't mind though, in fact I think it made me more independent because I knew I had to go my own way and look out for myself.

Things got rough when we were teenagers after my Dad became too ill to work, we became poorer. We scraped by though.
"Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the road, and then getting hit by an airplane"  - sarcasm_only

"Ironically like the nativist far-Right, which despises multiculturalism, but benefits from its ideas of difference to scapegoat the other and to promote its own white identity politics; these postmodernists, leftists, feminists and liberals also use multiculturalism, to side with the oppressor, by demanding respect and tolerance for oppression characterised as 'difference', no matter how intolerable."
- Maryam Namazie

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#32
RE: Your parents.
LOVE the stories, thanks everybody for sharing.  Most of you have the gist of mine from other threads, so I'll keep it short.  

Raised batshit crazy fundie.  Mom had the religious radio playing all day.  Dad worked as an advertising executive.  We went from the Southern Baptist church to Pentecostal Holiness . . . speaking in tongues, rolling in the isles, fire and brimstone and the Rapture . . . attended a Pentecostal School.  No TV allowed in the house - no popular music, books encouraged but always had to be approved by parents.  During the miniskirt and hippie era, I was always in dresses with skirts that had to be at least two inches below the bottom of the kneecap. Strict wasn't the word for my parents - my Mother in particular was very violent.  We went from one church to the next because preachers kept getting sent away because of affairs or child molestation, and Mom would just find the next church with a preacher she would practically worship until he got caught being a slimeball.  I always got dragged to the piano - I started playing for church services at the age of nine.  

My Father is gone.  I haven't seen my Mother since 1988.  She's supposedly still alive in Tennessee.  I am a musician and a librarian.  I have one brother, he is a computer programmer.  We are both atheist.
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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#33
RE: Your parents.
My mom was a loving mother, but my father was borderline psychologically abusive.  For the most part he acted as if I didn't exist, and the only time he ever talked to me was when he was telling me I was a failure or yelling at me for something I did.  The best way I could describe how he treated me was with disgust and abandonment.  He didn't physically abandon me, but for how he treated me, he may as well have.  The difference was that my rejection was staring me in the face throughout my childhood.  On top of that, he doted on my younger sister and got involved in her life, so I grew up wondering what was wrong with me that would make it so my dad didn't love me like he loved my sister.

Both my parents were total hardasses when it came to my education.  They pushed me as hard as parents can to become this super-overachiever, and my wants and desires were never considered.  They forced me to take college entrance exams when I was twelve, and when I resisted, I was basically told to shut my mouth and do as I was told. They never complemented me when I did something right, but they were all over me whenever I did something wrong.  Consequently, I'm the most self-critical person you'll ever meet, and I'm never able to acknowledge when I've done something right.

The whole thing led up to some serious mental health issues, which I still struggle with today.  My relationship with my parents is better now, but the way I was raised and how it affected me is never discussed.  I've forgiven my dad, because as bad as a parent as he was, it seems he was doing the best he could to break the cycle of how his parents treated him.  His parents were semi-sadistic and treated him with what would be considered abuse today.  But where and when he came from, it was just considered good, strict parenting.
Even if the open windows of science at first make us shiver after the cozy indoor warmth of traditional humanizing myths, in the end the fresh air brings vigor, and the great spaces have a splendor of their own - Bertrand Russell
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#34
RE: Your parents.
Both parents were children born during the depression years. Explains some of our family's money/materialism hoarding.

Mom: 3rd child and youngest of German immigrants (I think in the 1920's). Grew up very poor and physically abused. Not much love expressed in her family which carried on through out her life. Teacher, first college grad in the family, put herself through school, very driven to succeed, expected the same in her children. In my childhood she was stern but fair. However, when pissed off, our house became a deep freeze for 2 to 3 days. She had this passive aggressive way of pushing people including me. Example: First chair in band, she would say that's good but why didn't you have a solo in the concert? Analyst told me that's why I have a tendency to self destruct when things get going a little too good. Diagnosed with stag 4 multiple myeloma at age 63, they gave her 2 years with out without treatment. She choose treatment, was extremely miserable and in constant pain and died in 2 years. Watching her die that way took it's tool on all of the family but mainly on Dad. I am my mothers son.

Dad: Oldest child German grandparent immigrants (his parents both German). Grew up middle class for the time. His father died at age 45 leaving him to take over the family construction business and care for his mother. Hard drinker but not sure he was alcoholic. He had the ability to turn it off when he needed to. Usually a happy drunk that liked to get philosophical and solve the problems of the world. In the army between WWII and Korea. Very successful construction business and we had an upper middle class life. Dad was the one to show affection. After Mom's death he hooked up with a woman he had met and dated in high school. They had a good life together as long as the kids (my sister and I) kept our distance. NBD, we were grown. Dad dies of prostate CA. Lived 13 years after diagnosed. When it came back it came back with a vengeance. After see what Mom went through he refused chemo and just dwindled away, peacefully.

Religion: Evangelical Lutheran. Not very religious, they went to church more to be seen with the other movers and shakers of the town. Let me walk away at age 13 (with a little prodding).
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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#35
RE: Your parents.
This thread is great. I tried posting mine, but my phone lags and it took forever. Then I accidentally erased everything. That was earlier today. Still too lazy to start over.
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#36
RE: Your parents.
(May 17, 2016 at 7:44 pm)Mamacita Wrote: This thread is great. I tried posting mine, but my phone lags and it took forever. Then I accidentally erased everything. That was earlier today. Still too lazy to start over.

Take your time. Your story is probably rather interesting! I always enjoy your posts (and videos)  Heart Worship
"For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring." - Carl Sagan
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#37
RE: Your parents.
(May 17, 2016 at 8:56 pm)c172 Wrote:
(May 17, 2016 at 7:44 pm)Mamacita Wrote: This thread is great. I tried posting mine, but my phone lags and it took forever. Then I accidentally erased everything. That was earlier today. Still too lazy to start over.

Take your time. Your story is probably rather interesting! I always enjoy your posts (and videos)  Heart Worship
Awww thank you, man! I will post something. Awwww
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
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#38
RE: Your parents.
(May 17, 2016 at 9:51 am)SofaKingHigh Wrote:
(May 17, 2016 at 9:45 am)paulpablo Wrote: I think a lot of people's stories will be boring to them because they're used to it.  To you, your story seems boring, but to me I would have loved to have experienced all that travelling.

In this aspect I suppose it's difficult to know what to tell other people about your upbringing because what might seem normal and not worth mentioning to some people might seem interesting/strange to others.

To be honest, that's why I mentioned it as that was probably the only aspect of my childhood that wasn't ordinary.  It most certainly does have it's downsides though.  On the face of it, seeing all those different places does seem very appealing, but I am always quite envious of people who have grown up in the same place with the same people.  There's a lot to be said for having strong roots, I am now 37 and have just, hopefully, settled down to a place I can really call home.

Not a sob sorry by any stretch, I loved every minute of my childhood, but it does have another side that you don't notice until you're old enough.

Very much the truth ... I grew up moving around (Dad was a military contractor) and went to 8 schools in 12 years. Great to meet all those foreign friends, hard saying all those goodbyes, and now difficult to establish committed relationships, as much as I want to.

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#39
RE: Your parents.
Well my story is gonna seem like crap compared to these.

My Mom was born in the 50s in the country. She is the great granddaughter of the 1st set of Indians that came to this country when the British hired them to be cane slavers. She grew up in the south and her father was a Pundit, so she grew up with the Hindu Mythology drilled into her. Her mother was a cane field worker and worked really hard to send my mom and my aunts and uncles to school, My mom didn't go far in secondary school though. They were not very rich but not poor poor. My Grandmother also was a close friend to a very strong political figure in Trinidad and even used to help him in his campaigns to a point where she was asked to be on the team with him, she declined knowing that my grandfather wouldn't allow it and because she couldn't read. That political figure went on to become Prime Minister. My mom grew up in an area in Trinidad where technology was rare. Stuff like TV, Electricity and Radio didn't reach there until like the late 60s to 70s. Her parents were really strict to her, more so her mom than her dad and because of that she didn't want to do the same thing with us. My mom had a simple life growing up. She is a very loving person but can come across as a bit racist or have bad opinions at times but I don't really blame her, cuz it was the time period she was born in. She is also still very religious, but eats meat and drinks every now and then

My Dad was born around the 40s and is a decedent of an Indian Soldier who decided to migrate to Trinidad for some reason. Yes my dad and I guess in turn me are literally descendants of our own real life FN2187 (Finn). My dad's parents were really strict and wanted all of their sons to become doctors. Now I wouldn't say my Grandparents were rich, it's just that they had money. And you know how it goes in Indian families that have super high ethical standards. Anyways my dad went to all sorts of schools and universities and he was really really smart, he wanted to become an Archeologist (Which would've been cool I would've traveled all over the place with him and maybe bring back some Mummies from the dead using the book of life) but of course my grandparents forced him to do medicine which ultimately lead him to getting a mental breakdown. And my Grandparents here was religious nuts of the Hindu mythology and instead of giving my dad proper medical treatment they decided to visit India instead. My dad grew up in the part of Trinidad that had technology and actually lived with a TV his whole life. My dad is also the reason why I'm a Star Wars fan. Due to my Dad illness he would say really odd things but I forgive him, cuz it not his fault. He was nice and kind but it took allot of work from my mom for him to reach that level. He died 2 years ago on fathers day.

Growing up was really weird for me. My mom was mostly at the helm of the family seeing as how my dad wasn't mentally fit to be too involved. Still my dad, despite having Schizophrenia, still force himself to go to school and teach to make money so that we could get an education and basic utilities. Because of my mom's upbringing she raised us to get whatever we want. Which made both me and my brother brats. However if we did anything wrong we would still get a beating. My brother was more spoiled by the extended family and because of this when i was a teenager I felt that I wasn't good enough. My brother used to really abuse and manipulate me and the family, and there are people that would be like oh that's just brotherly love, but if you ever know my brother you'd think otherwise. Because of my brother I treated my dad horridly, as if he didn't existed. And I regret that. Cuz looking back my dad was ultimately still very loving and put up with crap from students, family and us. Both of my parents are very religious and used to force us to go to temple and take music classes. It was horrid. When I got older around the age of 15 I started to break away from letting people manipulate me and use my feelings to control me and that time is when I actually started to respect my dad and apologized for my horrendous behavior towards him. My mom was the typical mom, loving, but would scold, force us to do religious things or go places we didn't want to go. Didn't care weather or not we saw and R rated movie. And as I got older and wiser my brother got older and worse. I wished my dad was much more strict and stand up for himself and wished my mom didn't give us everything we wanted and was more strict as well. And who knows maybe my brother would've been better and maybe I wouldn't be suffering from a mental illness. Sill I love them, my Dad did his best and my Mom is still doing her best.

I am an Atheist and my Brother is Super Religious.
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#40
RE: Your parents.
My backwardconserativebigotreligious piece of shit parents told me I wasn't allowed to watch gay muslim porn. I've been an atheist scientist-professor of gender studies and transexualitololololgy ever since.

Also, life kicked me in the ass. So yeah, don't like God either. He's imaginary cuz he didn't get me a new boyfriend n shieeeet
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